Alan: We have to talk to her about this.
Charlie: Yeah, right. What are we gonna say? "Hey, mom, wanted to let you know you're a miserable she-bat and no one would come to your funeral unless your sons turn it into a three-day beer-fest"


Unrated
Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 17: "I Merely Slept With a Commie"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes

Alan: We could tell her the truth: that she's just as toxic as her late friend and that that's the way she's going to be remembered.
Charlie: Are you on crack?
Alan: Maybe if she realized how people see her, she might make an effort to change.
Charlie: If she realized how people see her, she'd just... get new people

Jake: Yo, check out the bling!
Charlie: Jake, I'm not going to tell you again. You're a pasty, white kid. Start acting like one