Well, Alan, there's not much to say. I make a lot of money for doing very little work. I sleep with beautiful women who don't ask about my feelings. I drive a Jag, I live at the beach... and sometimes in the middle of the day, for no reason at all, I like to make myself a big pitcher of margaritas and take a nap out on the sundeck


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
Show Comments
Charlie Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
Added by:

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog