The Mr. Hankey Song:
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of gay
Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday
Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
Small and brown, he comes from you
Sit on the toilet, here he comes
Squeeze in between your festive buns
A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy Ho"
He's seen the love inside of you
Cause he's a piece of poo
Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish brown
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve
He might come to your town
Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
therefore vicariously he loves you
Kid: I can make a Mr. Hankey too!
Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho!
I'm Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
Season's greetings to all of you
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
"Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum
Christmas Time has come"
Sometimes he's runny
Sometimes he's perfect
Sometimes he's practically water
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And won't fall in the toilet
Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he won't drop off
So you shake your ass around trying to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does
Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves, he must leave too
Flush him down, but he's never gone
His smell and spirit linger on