Alan [about Judith]: What does she think she's doing? She-- she's straight, she's gay, she's straight again... I mean, place your bets! Where she lands, nobody knows!
Charlie: Alan, it's no big deal. Women get to experiment with their sexuality. It's only guys who have to make a choice and stick to it.
Alan: Where do you get this stuff?
Charlie: I make it up.


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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 11: "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 11 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 11 Quotes

Charlie: How's it going in there?
Alan: Whatever happened to zippers? I miss zippers.
Charlie: I don't know, Alan, maybe there were too many injuries. Nobody ever got their balls caught in a buttonhole

Alan: Rose, what are you doing here?
Rose: Babysitting.
Alan: Where's my mother?
Jake: She left.
Alan: Why?
Jake: I don't know. We were watching SpongeBob SquarePants, and she stood up and said life was too short