Why were you two talking about condoms? Why were you eavesdrop...

Susan: (tense) Why were you two talking about condoms?
Julie: Why were you eavesdropping?
Susan: Don't change the subject. Are you two having sex? Because I thought I raised you to be smarter than that. (more tense): Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games? It's dangerous!! Every time you turn around there's a new disease! Do you want it to burn when you pee?
Julie: Mom.
Susan: Sex kills!
Julie: MOM!!!
Susan: WHAT?!!
Julie: I'm not having sex.
Susan: Really?
Julie: Really.
Susan: (Relieved) Oh, thank god.
(They hug)
Susan: If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?


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Characters:
Susan Mayer, Julie Mayer
Episode:
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 12: "Not While I'm Around"
Show:
Desperate Housewives
Related Quotes:
Susan Mayer Quotes, Julie Mayer Quotes, Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 12 Quotes, Desperate Housewives Quotes
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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 12 Quotes

(Carlos walks into Gabrielle's bedroom, while Gabrielle is in the bathroom.)
Carlos: Gaby, I need another pillow.
Gabrielle: All right. Don't take the big one. That's my favorite.
Carlos: It's only for one night. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna be back home sleeping in my own bed.
Gabrielle: What?! You can't abandon me! There's a madman stalking me. My life is on the line. Do you know how scared I am?
(Gabrielle gets out of the bathroom wearing the dress her secret admirer gave her.)
Carlos: You're keeping that?
Gabrielle: Hey, I'm scared, but not of the dress.

Lynette: (to Andrew) Aren't you supposed to be working?Andrew: Aren't you supposed to not be here?Lynette: Touch.

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