Your eyes look like two beady rabbit pellets on the face of a mo...

Phil: Your eyes look like two beady rabbit pellets on the face of a monkey-licking pus-bomb.
Lem: You've just been Phil-abusted.
Phil: Nice!
Lem: That's it--fill up your canker-blossomed hole, you ale-soused apple-john. That was the Elizabethan model.
Phil: Ye have been served.


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Characters:
Phil Mymen, Lem Hewitt
Episode:
Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 8: "The Impertence of Communicationizing"
Show:
Better Off Ted
Related Quotes:
Phil Mymen Quotes, Lem Hewitt Quotes, Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes, Better Off Ted Quotes
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Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

Veronica: I was up against this man--Walter--who had the same last name as I do, although we pronounce it differently.
Linda: There's another way to pronounce "Palmer"?
Veronica: In his family, the "P" is silent. I think it's Dutch. It sounds like their stupid handiwork, with their cheese and their giant propeller buildings.
Linda: So Walter... "Almer"?
Veronica: I know. Those people are unbelievable.

Ted: "Employees must now use offensive or insulting language in the workplace." This has to be a mistake. Why would the company want us to swear at each other?
Veronica: Well, maybe they're trying to make the people at work seem more like a real family, Butt-Munch. Yeah this is going to be good.
Linda: Like everything the company does to us, it's gotta be about money. Maybe when someone's called a "lazy sack of crap," they work harder so they can just be a "sack of crap."
Ted: Oh, this is gonna be a problem. People here follow memos. Especially since that memo came out saying people have to follow memos.

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