Charlie: You're ashamed of me, aren't you?
Linda: Oh, no, Charlie.
Charlie: I mean sure you can use me for sex, but God forbid we're out in public together.
Linda: That is not true.
Charlie: Let me remind you, it's the best sex you've ever had.
Linda: Oh, Charlie.
Charlie: Your words not mine.

Charlie Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 6: "Help Daddy Find His Toenail"
Two and a Half Men
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Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Charlie: Hey.
Linda: What are you doing here?
Charlie: I came to apologize. I am sorry about last night.
Linda: You're sorry? For ruining one of the most important nights of my career. For embarrassing me within an inch of my life?
Charlie: Well, yeah! Unless I did something else.
Linda: No, you did quite enough, thank you.
Charlie: Look, I understand why you're mad, but it really wasn't my fault. I was nervous about last night, so my mother gave me what I assume was one of her tranquilizers. But now I'm thinking it was a little something she had left over from Woodstock.

Alan: Pretty flowers.
Charlie: Thanks
Alan: Want to stick them in something?