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Quotes

Recap

Mary Alice Young commits suicide one day in her house.  She narrates the story of her family, friends and neighbors from her point of view.

Show:
Desperate Housewives
Season:
Episode Number:
1

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Gabrielle: It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
Lynette: Even the limp ones aren't that ethical

Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?