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This week, Lynette finally gets a nanny – her mother in law.  She’s glad to have the extra help, but has some adjusting to do when Grandma starts serving the men of the house like it is 1950.

Renee finalizes her divorce – and it’s time to celebrate with the girls, however Gaby is the only one free to drink champagne with her.  She confesses to Gaby that she slept with her ex’s divorce attorney to get a better settlement and then asks for some dirt on Gaby.  Gaby has nothing to share, but Renee calls her out on getting a nose job.  Gaby admits it, and they swear to never tell each other’s secrets.   Renee can’t hold her end of the deal though and lets it slip to the gang that Gaby has work done.

Things are heating up with Bree and Keith, the handyman.  After dinners at fancy restaurants and cultural events, she brings him into the bedroom for a 3x romp.  Later he “sexes” her up for 6 hours, and Bree is exhausted.

Susan may be in trouble when Mike finds out that $9,000 is missing from their bank account.  Although Susan used it to buy back the VaVaVaBroom campaign to protect her identity, Lynette who overhears their conversation about the missing money tells Mike that Susan lent it to her.  Susan then confesses to Lynette about her internet porn job and the trouble she’s in.

Later, Renee’s estranged hubby, Doug comes to Fairview to woo her back.  He regrets that they split up, and buys her a sapphire ring to try to win her affections again.   Renee accepts.  They go out together to see the new neighbor, Emma Grahm, in her first cabaret show.

Gaby, already at the show is 5 martini’s deep and pissed about Renee spilling the beans about her plastic surgery.  Afterall, she was the one with the “natural” beauty.  Gaby and Renee get into a fist fight after Gaby tells Doug about Renee’s one night stand with his attorney.  Later, the pretty girls make up, and Renee decides not to get back together with Doug after all.

Susan, fired from VaVaVaBroom after closing a session early with a “pervert”, is desperate to get back the money she paid to keep her secret life secret.  Maxine calls her to let her know someone wants a session with her and will pay top dollar.  Susan agrees.  She is shocked to see that it is Paul, who blackmails her.  Paul wants to buy the home Susan and Mike are desperately trying to move back into.

The Schiavo family is getting back to normal after Lynette apologizes to her mother in law for treating her poorly.  Grandma is happy to be there to help, but seems to be forgetting everyone’s names.  This could be trouble for Lynette who is eager to go back to work.

Desperate Housewives
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Desperate Housewives Season 7 Episode 5 Quotes

Paul: Susan, it seems like a lot of things are for sale: your body, your honor, your reputation. The house would seem to be the smallest of those things.

He had a plan that would set neighbor against neighbor and friend against friend, and it was a plan that was going to succeed.

Mary Alice