Dan and Vanessa have relationship issues as she gets the spot in the writing program he wanted. He tells his friend Willa how she got in based on a story he wrote. She has her dad, a board member, reverse the decision.
Only problem? V actually did submit her own work. By the time Dan realizes it and tries to reverse what he did, she's pissed and ignoring his calls.
She spent the night at Nate's and she's walking around in his shirt after. It's going according to plan for Jenny until Nate gives her the old brotherly head-rub.
She turns to Chuck for how-to-steal-Nate advice, and J is happy to follow orders. She takes Nate's shirt and holds it so that S will see it.
Chuck's plan predicted that Serena's passive-aggressiveness will push Nate straight into Jenny's arms, and it almost, almost worked.
Nate feels rejected by S and Jenny tries to kiss him, only Serena comes in right at the moment ... and the two make up in the end.
Jenny's evil ways are also exposed as Serena learns she never gave Nate a key message she asked to deliver him.
She and Serena are supposed to get home first to explain everything to Rufus, but William gets there first. We learn that Lily has a "very treatable" cancer and William had been treating her in secret.
Serena and her dad have a heart to heart, of sorts. He says he was caught up in a Congolese civil war and did not intend to leave her.
Lily is not in the clear yet, because the results of some tests aren't very pleasant, and William makes a phone call to an unnamed person blackmailing him to write Lily another prescription. Real shady.
Because none of the eligible bachelors she invited to her rebound brunch came, Blair figures out that Chuck has issued a dating fatwa on her.
At the Brooklyn party, she sets his sight on a Columbia dude in an effort to make Chuck jealous and get on Gossip Girl, thus ending the fatwa.
But it doesn't work out, because Blair realizes she can't deny what a huge part of her Chuck will always be. Still, they are broken up... for now.