How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

[about his community service]
Barney: I was unfairly punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church.
Ted: You peed on a church?
Barney: I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see, because I was drunk!

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• Added: November 18, 2008

Barney: Okay, Ted. I found a way for you to help someone, to do some good. This is Walter. Walter is homeless. And Walter would like a lap dance.
Ted: Are you joking?
Barney: I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment

• Permalink: Okay, Ted. I found a way for you to help someone, to do some goo...
• Added: November 18, 2008