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Ted goes to a matchmaker whose computer program only returns woman who have already been matched.  Lily and Marshall discover a Cockamouse, a combination of a cockroach and mouse, in their apartment.

How I Met Your Mother
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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 Quotes

Robin: Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal, but you've exaggerated it in your mind; you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster.
Marshall: If by "like the Loch Ness Monster," you mean "totally exists and is awesome," then, yeah, it's like the Loch Ness Monster.

How do I say this? This is gonna be really hard. Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you. Phew, actually I got through that OK

Ellen [to Ted]