How I Met Your Mother Season 3

After breaking up with Stella (Sarah Chalke), Ted is involved in a car accident. The episode and season ends with Ted proposing to Stella at a Chuck E. Cheese like place.

"Everything Must Go"

Lily and Marshall attempt to raise money to repair their floor by selling off Lily's designer clothing. Lily also discovers an alternative use for her art. We find out it was Abby (Britney Spears) that was Barney's relationship saboteur.

When Ted breaks Stella's trust by telling the gang she hasn't had sex in five years, their relationship becomes rocky. Meanwhile, Barney is desperately seeking a new bro and tries to make one out of a co-worker (Will Forte).

Barney feels extremely guilty having broken the "Bro Code" by sleeping with Robin. Lily decides to rescue a goat while the gang plans Ted's surprise birthday party.

"Sandcastles in the Sand"

Robin's old boyfriend, Simon (James Van Der Beek), from one of her old pop videos comes to town and they attempt to rekindle their old romance. Barney quests desperately to find the video of her second song which also features Alan Thick and Tiffany.

"The Chain of Screaming"

When Marshall is screamed at by his boss (guest star Bob Odenkirk), he thinks he can't work for a big law firm. Barney attempts to explain the chain (or circle) of screaming.

When Barney's love life is being sabotaged by a mystery woman, he sets up a tournament bracket (a la the Final Four) to determine out of 64 women which hates him the most and is most likely sabotaging.

"Ten Sessions"

Ted is still seeing his dermatologist Stella (Sarah Chalke) to have his butterfly tattoo removed. Ted asks her on a date but she says no due to it being unethical. Ted has ten sessions to convince her to change her mind.

Ted and Barney hit the town to celebrate St. Patrick's Day where Ted seemingly is rewarded for every bad behavior. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall discover their apartment has even more problems... the floor is slanted.

"The Platinum Rule"

Ted asks the dermatologist removing his butterfly tattoo on a date. The gang tries to talk Ted out of going out with someone he's going to see regularly (aka The Platinum Rule). Everyone shares their horror stories.

After everyone joins a gym, Barney sees Rhonda (the woman he lost his virginity to) there. After learning his performance with her was poor, he loses his confidence with women. He attempts to pick up models at a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.


Lily and Marshall host their first Thanksgiving dinner as a married couple. Marshall tortures Barney with the countdown of his next slap from their previous Slap Bet.

"Spoiler Alert"

Ted thinks he finds the perfect woman (guest star Lindsay Price), but his friends all quickly notice a flaw in her that he missed. That gang soon reveals each others' flaws as well and point them out to each other.


Marshall and Lily make a rash decision when they decide to buy an apartment in the "Dowisetrepla" neighborhood. Lily's credit card debt forces them into a ridiculously high interest (18%) mortgage.

"I'm Not That Guy"

Jeff Coatsworth (John Cho) attempts to recruit Marshall to work for his "evil" corporate law form with a big salary and great benefits. Lily reveals her credit card debt to Robin.

"How I Met Everyone Else"

Ted introduces a new girl to the gang that he met on World of Warcraft. She's insecure about meeting online and makes up a story about how they met at cooking class.

"Little Boys"

Robin is dating a single dad and ends up forming a close bond with his son. However, when she decides the relationship is too serious, she needs to find a way to end her relationship with both the father and his kid.

"Third Wheel"

Ted bumps into Trudy (the girl he met in The Pineapple Incident). He goes on another date with her and her sorority sister, Rachel, shows up on their date and is very interested in Ted.

"We're Not From Here"

After seeing that Robin's new boyfriend, Gael (Enrique Iglesias), attracts girls because he's from Argentina, Barney and Ted decide to pose as out-of-towners and pick up girls in New York.

"Wait for It"

When Robin shows up with a new boyfriend, Gael (guest star Enrique Iglesias), Ted decides he's ready to move on and hit the town with Barney. While out he meets Amy (guest star Mandy Moore), a tattooed party girl.

How I Met Your Mother
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How I Met Your Mother Season 3 Quotes

Barney: It's not possible! You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board!
Lily: How do you know?
Barney: Glad you asked, Lily. I have crafted a list of all vehicles, land-based, aquatic, and airborne, in which / on which it is possible to have sex. Of these 33, I have had sex in / on 31. Windsurfing board: not on the list. Oh, PS in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.

Barney: Here it is: Acrobats from Montreal, they're super flexible. We are gonna get Cirque-du-So-laid. What uppppp?