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Rating: 4.9 / 5.0 (20 Votes)
Review Quotes


In the Season 1 Finale, viewers get to figure out whether prison made Piper how she is or if it was in her all along.

Everyone is trying out for the nativity story.

Piper asks Healy for a marriage request form. He tells her she needs  form and his permission, which she does not have.

Caputo tells Red she is not allowed in the kitchen and assigns Gloria as head cook.

Figueroa questions Bennett about getting the drugs. He didn't find them on prison grounds, so he actually brought them into the prison, not Neptune Produce.

Larry goes to see his parents. He tells them he and Piper are getting married right away. They try to talk them out of marrying her and waiting until she gets out.

Piper tells Alex she picks Larry but she loves her too. Alex tells her she can never come to her again.

Pornstache comes to get his paycheck and he tells Bennett he thinks Daya is the one. He sees himself buying sheets with her and going to Mt. Rushmore.

Nicky wants to include Vause and Chapman in the Secret Santa, but Big Boo doesn't think they're family.

Figueroa calls Piper into her office to give her a list of talking points about Litchfield and Piper burns Healy about calling Larry and asks for a marriage form and approval.

Nicky goes to see Red and she's pretty down. Was hoping breakfast would be bad.

Piper gets a dead rat and a message from Pennsatucky.

Taystee is Piper's new bunk mate.

Larry wants to visit Alex and he says she's tall. Alex tells Larry Piper dragged her to the chapel and she's done with her.

Pennsatucky gets into the showers with Piper and threatens her with a razor blade. 

Red sabotages the kitchen.

When someone turns the oven on, Murphy catches on fire when it comes billowing out of the oven.

Caputo tells Bennett to fill out the drug report and give it to him to file.

Big Boo gives the screwdriver to Piper for Secret Santa.

Nicky tells Alex what she wants for Christmas.

Red tries to get food in the cafeteria but Gloria won't serve her.

Larry tells Piper he met Alex and he was afraid if they didn't get married he'd lose her, but you should be with someone out of fear. He tells her goodbye.

Figueroa tells Healy he better never call an inmate on a lesbian witch hunt again.

Caputo brings flowers to Fischer at the Christmas pageant and she introduces him to her boyfriend.

The pageant goes well.

Piper cannot stand it and leaves. Pennsatucky follows and a fight ensues.

Orange is the New Black
Episode Number:

Orange is the New Black Season 1 Episode 13 Quotes

Yes. You have made a decision. So here's what it means going forward. You may not come running to me again. Not with your problems. Not with your love. Not with your need, or sadness or love. Not even your laundry unless it is specifically your laundry day. You may never come to me again. Ever.


They all work in kitchens don't they. They all pop out of the truck of a car and learn to fry an egg. God bless America.