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J.D. has to decide between Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso as his mentor.  Dr. Kelso attempts to woo him with a game of golf.  Elliot believes her breasts have healing powers.  In order to apologize to Carla, Turk gives her a pen that turns out was inside a patient's rectum.  Dr. Cox's attempts to help an uninsured patient gets him suspended.

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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

J.D.: I can't decide if I should help Cox or not. It's driving me crazy.
Turk: Dude, at least you didn't give your girlfriend a gift that used to be inside of someone.
J.D.: That's true

Dr. Kelso: Well, sport, it looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
J.D.: Actually, sir, I'm not really that in to golf.
Dr. Kelso: Well, I guess that's your choice, isn't it... Dr. Dorian.
J.D.'s Narration: I think I liked it better when he didn't know my name