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J.D. has to decide between Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso as his mentor.  Dr. Kelso attempts to woo him with a game of golf.  Elliot believes her breasts have healing powers.  In order to apologize to Carla, Turk gives her a pen that turns out was inside a patient's rectum.  Dr. Cox's attempts to help an uninsured patient gets him suspended.

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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
Carla: What did you just say?
J.D.: "What up...dogg?"

J.D.: I can't decide if I should help Cox or not. It's driving me crazy.
Turk: Dude, at least you didn't give your girlfriend a gift that used to be inside of someone.
J.D.: That's true