Jillian Harris is ready to get her quest for love underway.
She packs up all her stuff (including a teddy bear) and leaves Vancouver, BC for Los Angeles, where she will meet 30 men who will vie for her heart.
She's hoping to find Mr. Right, and she's "going to make the right decision the FIRST TIME." Jillian's also throwing out that hot dog theory for good:
"I don't really give a s--- what he puts on his hot dog, as long as he knows how to have a good time, he has a good sense of humor, and loves me."
First, there are a lot of shots of Jillian exercising in different bikinis, and girlfriend looks GOOD. We then get a look at the guys who will try to win her heart.
The 30 guys are all indistinct as of yet, but Stephen, Wes, Juan, and Jacob stand out in the short term. Sort of.
Chris Harrison welcomes back Jillian to The Bachelor house, and she looks lovely in a long white dress. They chat, and Jillian talks about what she learned about herself when she fell in love with Jason.
She's not as focused on looks as she is about a guy who makes her laugh and is a good communicator. Chris asks if she'll accept a proposal if the right guy asks, and she says yes.
The arrivals begin!
Bryan, a high school coach, literally "sweeps her off her feet" when they meet. The other Brian calls her "hot tub Harris," and runs inside to make a couple hot dogs. Too soon, Brian. Too soon.
Jacob the pilot gives Jillian a pair of wings, and he looks good in his suit. Dave from Ohio almost starts to cry from anxiety, which is super awkward.
Tanner P. picked a neon green shirt and talks about growing old together, which are both unfortunate choices.
Robert is a great looking bartender, and John looks like an overgrown frat guy, especially in his pink shirt.
Brad also picks a pink shirt, and is a bit corny, by his own admission.
The pink shirts keep on coming with Simon, who has such a heavy English accent that they feel the need to give him subtitles.
Jesse is a tall dreamboat, and about the eighth to say that he's only there because it's Jillian as the Bachelorette.
Julien is a bit stiff when he meets name-twin Jillian, and Wes looks nervous, but I have a feeling this adorable crooner is a winner.
Kyle shows up in a bomber jacket instead of a suit jacket... and then walks the wrong way into the house. Stephen is charmingly awkward, and Adam the Olympic cyclist shows up in bright turquoise.
The Argentinean music begins when Juan shows up and greets Jillian in Spanish, even though he speaks perfect English, having moved to LA when he was two.
Mathue shows up in a cowboy hat that has been signed by all his favorite country artists. Caleb's in jeans, and he's a good-looking guy, even with the hipster comb-over.
Greg asks Jillian to "hug it out" and reveals that he's an ordained minister. Mark tells Jillian his pizza theory.
Well, the arrivals are done, and that's 25.
Chris reminds Jillian that she needs to send 10 of the guys home tonight, and she has a first impression rose to give as well.
The party begins. Jillian greets the guys, and she's nervous now.
Right off the bat, Jacob the pilot is the first to "borrow" Jillian for some alone time, and the other guys begin the old song and dance of competing for one-on-ones.
Jesse reveals an "aspiring Canadian" t-shirt under his suit, and that he's a winemaker. Double points there.
Tanner P. is next to steal her away, and he establishes himself as the borderline-creepy stalker of the season.
Not that talking about true love when you first meet someone is always creepy (actually, it is), but like his neon green shirt, he comes on a bit strong.
Jillian grabs Kiptyn next, and he talks about how much he liked her when he watched last season (See, I'm still skeptical... guys watch The Bachelor?).
Juan steals her away. He's easygoing, and he looks really good (especially for being 35). Stephen, one of my current favorites, continues to crack the other guys up, but can't manage to get that one-on-one.
Jillian totally burns Sasha with a joke about how he lacks a sense of humor that gets the whole room laughing, and he takes it like a champ.
Chris brings out the First Impression Rose, and the guys start getting catty. Kyle the uber-hipster and Brian, a honky Arkansas dude, sandwich Jillian on a couch and look like they'd like to punch each other.
Mathue the personal trainer literally picks up J carries her off, which makes sense because he has a bit of a Neanderthal thing going on.
Wes plays a lovely song he wrote for Jillian Harris, and with that voice, he's definitely going to stick around.
Michael teaches Jillian how to breakdance, and he's pretty funny and endearing when he shows her the moves.
Greg challenges Michael to a dance-off, and Greg is cocky to the MAX, but Michael seems to win. David (the choker-upper) redeems himself in his one-on-one, seemingly having a lot in common with our Bachelorette.
Chris greets the 25 bachelors and Jillian, and then, whoa, he introduces the five extra guys - whom I feel a little bad for, considering they've missed half the party.
Jillian meets the five, and the competition heats up even more.
One of the newbies is Edward, who seems a bit shy but promising.
There's also Reid, who's a lot better looking on camera than in his first picture. And then there's Tanner P., who wants to put his hat in the ring for #1 Creep against the OTHER Tanner with his massive foot fetish.
He tricks Jillian into taking off her shoes and dipping them in the pool so he can look at them, and she remains none the wiser as he has a hard time maintained eye contact, so turned on is he by her toes.
It becomes cattier by the minute as 30 guys snake in for alone time, and everyone wants that First Impression Rose.
Jillian heads off to consider who will get the rose, and she ends up giving it to... David. What? Really? The guy who almost cried?
She says it's for his stellar second shot at that first impression, for redeeming himself after choking up. Wes is a bit bummed after that song didn't snag him the win, and Tanner #1 continues being creepy.
Chris clinks his glass - it's elimination time!
In addition to David, Jillian gives roses to:
- Jacob ("Jake")
- Edward ("Ed")
- Brian D.
- Tanner P.
- Tanner F.