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Janet, dressed in white, is standing in a white space. Michael enters. This is a Janet Warehouse, and he is picking up a Janet who has not yet been activated. He sneaks her out.

Shawn doesn't understand how Michael got a Janet without going to the actual Good Place, but Michael explains that they keep Janets in a neutral pocket dimension under the Good Place.

Shawn asks why Michael bothered to steal a Good Place Janet when he could just have a Bad Place Janet pretend to be good. Michael summons a Bad Place Janet to demonstrate. She can't get through an answer without self-combusting.

In the present, we see Janet in Michael's office. She explains that her glitches are going to cause the Bad Place to implode or explode. Michael wants to run a full diagnostic. Janet pulls her user manual out of her nose.

Vicky enters Michael's office and demands to know what's going on. Michael says Janet is having a technical issue. When Vicky asks what's wrong with her, Michael stumbles, but Janet interrupts and says she tried to eat some frozen yogurt, but since she's not supposed to eat anything, there was an earthquake.

As soon as she finishes speaking, there is another earthquake.

Vicky and Michael talk outside his office. She brings up his behavior at the birthday party and the glitches with Janet, saying it seems like Michael is begging her to tell Shawn. He assures her that he has everything under control and suggests torturing Chidi. Vicky shares a new torture idea: needles.

After Vicky leaves, Michael returns to Janet and the user manual. He performs a number of tests on her, including basic corporeal function, summoning and retrieval, and informational accuracy. She passes the first two tests, but the description of the third test explains that if Janet is glitching, it may be because she is processing or disseminating information that is incompatible with objective truth.

Michael says this is all his fault; he told Janet a lie on the day they met.

The flashback that started the episode continues, with Janet at Michael's desk in the main office of the Bad Place. Michael activates Janet and introduces himself as a Good Place architect. He asks if it's okay if the neighborhood he designs is a little different than the ones she's used to, and she replies that all elements of the design are up to him.

In the present, Michael continues saying it's all his fault, but Janet contradicts him. She says if that was the cause of her glitches, she would have been glitching all along. He agrees.

Tahani and Jason enter. Tahani says they've been trying to call Janet but she hasn't responded. Janet informs them she's broken. Jason is anxious for Michael to fix her, because he wants to get jalapeno poppers for Tahani. Tahani admits they're a couple, which shocks Michael.

Janet says as soon as she's fixed, she'll be more than happy to help Jason get that special gift for Tahani. As soon as she says this, the office crumbles and the four appear to be in a void.

Tahani asks what they should do, but the world reappears. Michael reassures them and escorts them out of the room.

Michael brings up a screen and says the glitch was limited to the building they're in, so Vicky won't know. 

Janet informs Michael that she's losing object permanence. Michael goes over what happened. Janet informs him she already knew about Jason and Tahani's relationship and is so happy for them. As soon as she says that, she vomits pennies.

Michael asks Janet to tell him a lie. Her immediate response is that Janets can't lie, but Michael reminds her that she lied to Vicky earlier. She says it must have been something she learned in her 802 reboots. She tells Michael she likes his outfit, and a giant sub sandwich falls on Michael's desk.

Michael says the problem isn't him lying to Janet; it's Janet lying to other people. He says she was lying when she said she'd be happy to help Jason because she's in love with Jason. 

Michael explains that Janet and Jason bonded after she was rebooted the first time and that they got married. He thinks that deep down, she's still in love with him. Janet denies it, but as she identifies what happened before each glitch, she realizes she isn't happy for Jason and Tahani after all.

Michael suggests that each successive reboot intensified Janet's feelings for Jason. Janet tells Michael he has to kill her, not by rebooting, but by setting her to self-destruct. She'll collapse into the size of a marble and all Michael will need to do to restore the neighborhood to order is procure a new Janet.

Michael asks if this is what Janet really wants. Janet says it isn't, but that she's putting the neighborhood at risk with her feelings for Jason.

Chidi enters with his face and feet covered in needles. He asks if there are any other new torture ideas Michael forgot to tell him about. Michael escorts him out of the office. Janet tells Michael to kill her. He says he really doesn't want to.

He heads over to his bowl of paperclips to start the process, but his eye catches on a spoon on display.

We see a flashback to the beginning of the Good Place experiment. They've just put the finishing touches on the last pudding restaurant. Michael starts to worry that everything is wrong. Janet offers her assistance. Michael doesn't think she can help, but Janet insists. Michael asks her for a food that humans think they enjoy but is actually kind of a bummer. Janet says "frozen yogurt." Michael is thrilled, but quickly diverts Janet's attention when she tries to ask why he wanted a food like that.

They replace all the pudding places with frozen yogurt establishments, and Janet offers Michael a spoon and some frozen yogurt. He says it's just okay, which makes it perfect. Janet doesn't know what just happened, but says she's happy Michael is happy.

Back in the present, Janet gets Michael's attention. He walks over with the paperclip and presses Janet's nose, but he says he can't do it. He covers himself by saying it's bad for the plan and that Vicky could find out. They go back and forth, with Janet offering counterpoints to all of Michael's excuses. She asks why Michael won't do it, and he finally admits that the reason is friends. He is emotional as he tells her she is his oldest, truest, most loyal friend.

Janet says she's glad he told her that, but still insists that Michael must kill her. He insists that there has to be another way. She's facing a problem with emotion, which is a human problem, so he suggests they consult their most problematic human.

Eleanor sits on the couch next to Janet. Eleanor tries to digest all the information she's just learned. Janet wants her to convince Michael to kill her. Eleanor says Janet is facing a problem all people have faced: her ex is sleeping with someone else. She suggests that Janet get drunk and go dancing. Janet can't get drunk, but if she stands next to an array of magnets, she gets pretty loopy. Eleanor says she should do that and suggests that Janet find a rebound guy.

Initially, she suggests Michael, but Janet says it's a bad idea. Eleanor tells Janet how great she is.

Michael asks Janet if talking to Eleanor helped. Janet says it did. She's going to "go get it, girl" as Eleanor told her. She says if she watches what she says around Jason and Tahani, she should be able to avoid glitches. She says she's glad she and Michael are friends, and as a friend, she tells him to take that outfit out of rotation. She says she's going to spend some time in her void to focus on herself.

Almost immediately, she pops back into the office with her new rebound boyfriend, Derek, whom she created. Michael says it shouldn't even be possible for Janet to make someone, but apparently the reboots have given her this ability. Janet asks him to go back to the void, where she'll meet him.

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The Good Place Season 2 Episode 7 Quotes

That's the good news. The bad news is I seem to be losing my ability to sustain object permanence. So it's sort of a glass half full, glass stops existing in time and space kind of deal.


The reason is friends! You're my friend, Janet. That's why I can't kill you. We have been through so much together. I mean, yeah, sure, for you, each time I rebooted you, you met me all over again, but for me, our -- our relationship has become important. You're my oldest, my truest, my most loyal friend. I can't just get rid of you and replace you with some other Janet I don't even know.