Editor Rating
  • 5.0 / 5.0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating

Rating: 4.8 / 5.0 (26 Votes)
Review Quotes Photos


This epsidoe starts right where the last episode left off. The four humans are through the portal, without Michael and Janet. Jason thinks the ride in the portal was awesome and wants to go again. Chidi thinks he barfed. 

Eleanor has to tell the group that Michael isn't coming and that he sacrificed himself for her. Tahani is sad because she didn't get to say goodbye to Michael or Janet. The judge isn't there. There is just a burrito on a desk. Chidi thinks it's a test and wonders if they are supposed to eat the burrito or see how long they can go without eating it. 

Jason thinks the burritos is the judge. Tahani says that's ridiculous, but Eleanor says Jason could be right. Eleanor talks to the burrito like it is the judge, but the real judge (Maya Rudolph) comes up behind them and scares them. She asks them "what's up?" in a cheery manner. 

The judge doesn't think she has a case today because there is no paperwork. She asks if they just came there on their own. She figures out they did and says, with delight, that they're bad with delight. She wants to know which one is the baddest. She tells the four humans that they can relax and get comfortable because the portal is sealed and no one can get in until she issues her ruling. She puts them into their regular human clothes. 

She gets their files. Chidi is surprised that she doesn't already know everything about them. She says she learns as little as she can so she can remain impartial but sometimes she cheats and reads when she gets bored. 

She absorbs all of their existences and says she can't hear their case and needs to send them back. Tahani begs her to hear their case. She tells Tahani that she knows everything about them now, but she wants her to keep talking because she loves Tahani's accent. Tahani keeps giving her reasons for hearing their case. The judge agrees because she's bored and hasn't had a case in 30 years. 

Shawn and Bad Janet lecture Michael about his actions. Michael says the four humans are in front of the judge and that Janet escaped and she'll never be found. Bad Janet says she found Good Janet and marbleized her so she can't get out.  

The judge says she will give the humans individual tests to see how they've changed. Eleanor wants them to test as a group because they go together. The judge says that not is possible. Eleanor says if they have to be tested individually, they want to be graded together because it won't be the Good Place if they're not all there together. 

Jason is taken to his test. It is Madden Football. He can only play against the Jaguars as their arch rivals the Tennessee Titans. The judge begins to say what will happen if he loses, but Jason cuts her off and says he will win. He tells her to tell his friends that their souls are in good hands. She smiles as he plays and complains that the Titans suck. 

The judge gives Tahani her test. She has to go through a door, walk down a hallway, and through a red door at the end, but she will pass doors where people will be discussing what they truly think about her. It is set up like a hotel but with names of people from her life on the doors. 

Shawn asks Michael about his reboots. Michael says he didn't plan it but that the humans were helping each other. He thinks the 4 humans belong in the Good Place because they helped each other. 

Eleanor and Chidi also have to walk through a door. They come out the other side of the door and back to the judge. She says there is no test for them because they are both eligible for the Good Place. They've both made great strides and belong there. The two are thrilled. The judge says that Jason and Tahani didn't make it. Their tests are to see where in the Bad Place they belong. The judge tells them to rethink the whole group succeeds together thing or they'll all end up in the Bad Place. Eleanor and Chidi are sad about this. 

Eleanor and Chidi think this is the test. Eleanor says that Tahani and Jason were given the same offer and whichever couple takes the offer fails. The judge eats the burrito and tells them that it is not the case. Eleanor asks Chidi what they should do, and Chidi does his moral quandary grimace. Chidi says this is worse than a test because it is a choice that they have to make. 

Tahani is close to the end of the hallway but gets tempted by the room where her parents are talking about what a disappointment she is compared to her sister. 

Jason is losing by 3 so he meditates to calm down. Jason tells the judge he's losing because he hates scoring against his favorite team. 

Tahani talks to her parents. They start talking about her sister. Tahani is upset because everyone is supposed to be talking about her but her parents are still talking about her sister. She says she was never good enough for them or going to earn their respect. Tahani says she's done things they would never approve of and says she's sorry they didn't have a better relationship. She wishes them both the best as she leaves. She walks to the red door and walks out of the hallway.

Shawn asks Michael if he has any last words. Michael tells him to retire him already. Shawn says he's not getting retired. He's being put in an unmarked room for the rest of eternity. The only form of entertainment he will have is a stack of New Yorker magazines that will keep growing forever. This is Shawn's way of torturing Michael like a human. Shawn also says he will leave him with one of Bad Janet's classic farts that will last 10 million years. Janet gets ready to fart but says she needs to do something first. She grabs Shawn by the throat and throws him across the room. Bad Janet was Good Janet all along. She tricked Shawn to help them all survive and now is ready to be Good Janet again. 

Eleanor paces between the two doors and talks to Chidi about their ideas. Chidi says that their friends are going to the Bad Place and them going with them won't lessen their suffering. Chidi says morally they're allowed to go because of this. He says to forget about the ethics because he thinks that after everything they have been through, he and Eleanor deserve a chance to be together and happy.

Eleanor tells the judge that they're not going to the Good Place for the sake of her test. Eleanor was 99% sure that going was the wrong move but then realized that she hasn't been talking to the real Chidi the entire time. She figured out because the Chidi she knows would never want to forget about the ethics. The judge says she did a great job and tells her to sit and wait for her friends. 

The real Chidi has actually been in a room for an hour and 22 minutes with a choice between a gray and brown hat. He decides on the brown hat and exits the room. The judge calls the four humans together again and says they're all going to the bad place. 

Chidi says that if he was the one who failed, he wants to know why. The judge tells him it took him too long to pick a hat. He asks if he picked the right one. She says there isn't a right one because they are just hats.

She tells Tahani that she wasn't supposed to go into any door. She does applaud Tahani for not going into more of the doors but says she shouldn't have gone to her parents' room. 

The judge tells Jason that he showed great improvements in impulsive control but never asked if he could not play. This would have allowed him to pass the test.

The judge is about to say Eleanor passed her selfishness test, but Eleanor cuts in and says she failed by shoving an old lady down to get shrimp before her. She says they all failed so they shouldn't dwell on their mistakes.

The judge says she will miss them and that she made a video of their time together. She plays it for them before sending them to the Bad Place.

Jason says they should get a good night's sleep and come back fresh tomorrow to try the tests again. Eleanor says he only understands about 20% of what is going on. She tells Chidi she will miss him and think of him. 

Just as the judge is about to kick them out, she hears something. Michael and Good Janet come through the portal and greet the four humans.

The Good Place
Episode Number:

The Good Place Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

And I love your passion! I mean, it takes a lot of guts to just show up here unannounced. Plus, I haven't had a case in like 30 years and I'm super bored. So, it's either this or start Bloodline. And I don't know. I just don't feel like I can see Kyle Chandler as anyone else but Coach Taylor.

Judge Gen

I'm not scared of any burrito. I'll eat it. Unless the burrito is the judge!