When Mrs. Krabappel is in Portland, Skinner is forced to combine the two fourth grade classes into one.  Bart ends up stuck sitting next to Nikki (guest voice Sarah Silverman) and quickly develops a crush on her.  When Grampa convinces Bart to "steal a kiss," he does after a fun skateboarding montage.  Bart ends up getting the school sued for his inappropriate behavior.

After the whole school is forced to go on edge and have a strict no-touching policy, Nikki steals a kiss from Bart in the hall.  The two begin secretly dating but Nikki's hot-and-cold attitude makes Bart end up breaking up with her and falling off the building.  When no one else is willing to touch Bart and risk a lawsuit, Nikki saves him with CPR.  At the end of the episode, Nikki contineus to lose interest in Bart whenever he gets too clingy and he ends it by screaming he loves her.

Lisa, meanwhile, gets an F on an assignment and gets a taste of what it would be like to be normal as the kids start befriending her.  When Ms. Hoover reveals it was a mistake and she should have had an A+++, everyone goes back to hating her.  Lisa takes to her online organic blog to complain, and it turns out Michelle Obama (guest voice Angela Basset) is an avid reader and comes to the school to encourage Lisa to keep achieving.