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Kate tells Toby about her abortion. He doesn't understand why she didn't tell him while they were trying to get pregnant. Kate tries to explain this was the most painful time of her life and she didn't want to ever think about it or him again. He was so cruel to her. Toby wants to know his name. He will kill him for her. Kate says that he's the past. Toby says then why did it take you four years to tell me about it?

Kevin and Madison are preparing for a nanny's visit. Kevin gets a call and says to someone he's out then. Madison wants to know what that's about. Kevin says they want to move the movie to Vancouver because of COVID and he can't leave LA tomorrow for two weeks of quarantine and two weeks of filming. Madison says that would bring him home 5 weeks before the babies are due. She doesn't want his hard work to be for nothing.

At the office, everyone is making fun of Randall's viral dance. Jay says something came through the contact form on the website. He gives Randall privacy while Randall looks at it.

In the past, Kate meets Dr. Wolf. By PA law she has to ask Kate a bunch of questions. Is she sure she wants to terminate. What led to your decision? Is she on medications/drugs? Kate stares into space and asks where the procedure will take place, and will it be today? They have to wait 24 hours by law.

In the present, Kate tells Toby that Jack is conked out. She has been cyberstalking Marc all night. She felt Toby was right that she wasn't past it so she went looking and he's in San Diego. She wants Toby to come with her to see him. Toby asks can she handle it? She says yeah so he's in.

18-year-old Kate comes home and ignores the phone ringing. It's Rebecca calling to check in. Kevin did great at his show. Is everything okay? Kate answers too late.

Later, the college-aged kids all come to Rebecca's. Kevin says he has to go to LA to go to auditions for TV. Sophie has school so she's not going with him. Rebecca seems unhappy but makes a toast.

Kevin and Madison's potential nanny seems too perfect -- quarantines, extended travel, etc. Madison says they will be here most of the time. Kevin hopes so but movies can be shot anywhere.

Randall comes home. He tells Beth about the message -- a man in New Orleans who knew Laurel. She died in 2016. He sent a picture. Randall has no idea if this is his mother or not.

Randall looks at the photo. Beth comes in. He starts talking about getting takeout for dinner. Beth wants to talk. Randall says he doesn't want to go down this road again. And why did William lie to him? We have a flashback of him talking to William and William saying Laurel died the day after Randall was born.

Beth thinks Randall should call his therapist. He'd rather go for a run (since he clearly learned nothing from the last time he tried that)

Kevin says to Madison you hated her, right? Madison doesn't want to travel all over the world. Kevin is confused. Madison wanted him to go to Vancouver and now upset about traveling? Madison says that the babies aren't here yet and this movie was important, but Kevin also made a commitment to her and the kids. How did he think this would work? Did he just assume she and the kids were gonna be his roadies? She wants them both to be home? She wasn't bro Kevin asks do you want me to quit acting? She says she was willing to do this on her own and he insisted. Now she's in love with the idea of their family. He is too.

Kate and Toby go to the music store where Marc supposedly works. Kate says she's okay and Toby doesn't need to go in with her.

18-year-old Kate goes to see Marc.

Adult Kate approaches Marc.

Marc offers 18-year-old Kate food. He remembered all her favorites. He missed her. He asks if she's still upset. He is so sorry and he doesn't know what happens to him, like a switch flips inside him. He thought she forgave him by showing up. Kate says that's not what she came here to say. She takes a deep breath. He starts getting upset. He was happy to see her and now it's ugh. He says let's just chill and watch TV.  Kate likes that they are watching Airplane. Marc is in mad mode. He gets up. Kate remembers watching the movie with her parents while Marc is busy getting beers. He comes back and Kate is gone.

Adult Kate tells Marc who she is. Marc says wow what are the odds. Do you live in SD? Kate tells him she wanted to come see him. He's confused. She wants to talk to him but his boss wants to get back to work right now. He gives Marc five minutes. Kate says can I ask you a question. She asks him what he remembers about them? He says you're here to rehash their relationship. Kate says forget it and starts to go. Marc says he's sorry. He says he thinks they were in love. She had great taste in music and she was broken in all the right places. Yeah things got intense but they were kids. Kate says she was a kid, he wasn't. She wasn't broken. She was grieving. He liked that she was vulnerable. What he did to her damaged her. She wants him to get that healing from him stole years. She found someone who loves her the way she deserves to be loved. She has a beautiful son and a wonderful husband. She's not broken. He's the one that is broken. He's the disease and she's not carrying it a moment longer. She leaves.

Kate sits in the clinic waiting. She goes into the room for the abortion. Then going home in a car.

Kate tells Toby Marc looked so small and she can't believe she let him have so much power over her. Toby is proud of her. She wanted to tell Toby but she didn't want him to look at her like a victim. She's glad she let him be her own white knight and he never looked at her like a victim, ever.

Randall's therapist asks him what it would mean if this were true, beyond William's betrayal? Randall tells him that he put an ad for his mom when he was 16 but a scam artist showed up. So he gave up. She had 35 years to find him and never looked for him. His therapist says you don't know that's what happened. His whole life he has been looking for his birth family. Why did he need to know that?

Randall doesn't know. To know where he came from, to feel connected. Knowing WIlliam did help. His therapist asks if knowing Laurel's story would help too? He's already in the journey so why not be all in?

Madison made Kevin a to-go breakfast. He says the car will be here any second. He knows he's leaving at the worst possible time but he will come back committed. She wants him to think about if he's all in. He says he is but she says think about it. She wants him to say bye to the kids. He does and says this is hard.

18-year-old Kate is watching a movie when Rebecca comes home. Rebecca asks if everything is okay. Kate says the movie made her cry. Rebecca offers her dinner. Kate wants ice cream.

Kate and Toby laugh together at Airplane.

Young Randall calls Kevin and tells him not to go to LA. Kevin says you don't think I'm talented. Randall tells him you just got married and this could hurt our relationship. Kevin says he and Sophie have been together since they were 10. He makes fun of Randall for not wanting anything to come between him and Beth. Kevin appreciates the concern but insists he and Sophie are solid and it will be worth it when he becomes a big star.

Grown up Kevin is riding in the back of a car and looking at a photo of him and Madison.

Randall is looking at the photo of Laurel when Kevin calls. Randall asks if everything is okay with Mom and the babies. Kevin says he saw Randall's strip clip and it's great. Randall says it's been a trip. Kevin asks how the girls are. THere's an awkward silence. Kevin finally says he's calling because he's in a really complicated place with Madison and he's lost as to how to deal with it and the first thought he had was what would Randall do. Randall seems touched by that. Kevin says he knows it's ironic given the horrible things he said. Kevin brings up the way Randall felt when they were kids. Randall says it is. Kevin says it's horrible. He can't imagine having to keep all that to yourself. Beth shows up and Randall says he has to make a phone call right now. Kevin says he gets it. Randall says they'll talk soon. They hang up and Beth sits with Randall while he calls Hi. Randall asks about Laurel's death. Was William lying? Hi says William thought it was the truth. Beth takes over and asks how Hi knew Laurel. Hi feels strange. He wishes he could see Randall's face. He wishes he could show Randall Laurel's life. Randall asks what if they were to come up.  Hi likes that idea. So does Randall.


This Is Us
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This Is Us Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Kate: He was so cruel.
Toby: I want you to tell me his name.
Kate: Do you?
Toby: Yeah. I want you to tell me his name and then I want to find him and I want to kill him.
Kate: That's very sweet, but this is all in the past. He's in the past.
Toby: Is it? Cause if it was really in the past, then why did it take you four years to tell me about it?

Toby: So you're telling me that this boyfriend of yours...
Kate: Got me pregnant. Yeah. And I was nowhere near ready to be a mom. And I couldn't be tied to that guy forever. So I had an abortion. And it was the toughest decision I'd ever made in my life. And I don't regret it. But I made it alone and I did it alone.