Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 5
"A Live Woman of Proven Fertility"
Original Air Date:

Alan is excited by the prospect of Judith remarrying and ending his alimony payments. Alan gets Charlie to help him when he thinks the marriage might not go through because of Jake disliking her fiance.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 4
"A Pot Smoking Monkey"
Original Air Date:

Alan tries to hire his ex-lawyer to help him win custody of his dog from Kandi

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 3
"The Sea is a Harsh Mistress"
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Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, but nearly drowns when he thinks he sees his dead father

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 2
"Who's Vod Kanockers?"
Original Air Date:

Charlie tells Alan why he didn't marry Mia; Charlie and Alan deal with their noisy neighbor, Steven Tyler

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 1
"Working for Caligula"
Original Air Date:

With Alan out of the house, Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle until Alan returns, having been divorced from Kandi already.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 24
"That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite"
Original Air Date:

Charlie and Mia try to make their wedding arrangements, but when things fall apart they settle on a small wedding in Vegas.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 23
"Arguments for the Quickie"
Original Air Date:

Mia comes back to town for a performance, and at first Charlie refuses to go and tries to convince Alan he doesn't have feelings for her.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 22
"Just Once With Aunt Sophie"
Original Air Date:

Jake gets invited to his first boy-girl party and Charlie and Alan give him advice to get ready and reminisce over their first boy-girl parties.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 21
"And the Plot Moistens"
Original Air Date:

Alan and Judith meet with Jake's teacher to discuss his lack of interest in school. Alan ends up falling for Francine as a friend since he's so desperate for intelligent conversation with Kandi.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 20
"Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro"
Original Air Date:

Alan tries to win back Kandi; Charlie ends up dating her mother Mandi; and Judith ends up with her father, Andy.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: You smell like strawberries.
Sophie: It's my lip gloss.
Jake: Does it taste like it smells?
Sophie: You wanna find out?
Jake: Sure!
[Sophie leans in to kiss Jake, Jake uses a finger to wipe her lip gloss off, then proceeds to eat it]
Jake: Mm

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.