Elektra Wintour - Pose
First of all, Elektra wouldn't know how to dress down for a parade. Besides that, she'd probably prance around the entire parade route demanding people take notice of her and compliment her fabulous outfits. Not only would she spoil your fun, but she'd also spoil everyone else's too!
Chidi Anagonye - The Good Place
Don't ask Chidi to help you pick a spot because the parade will be over before you even sit down. And while it's not a horrible thing to have to make all the decisions, someone who is as constantly indecisive as Chidi is will spoil any chance of fun.
Abe Weissman - The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Sometimes parents can put a damper on the fun, but Abe Weissman is the king of that particular department. He'll find fault in even the smallest of things, and if you think you can hide a little booze in your bag, think again. Abe will take it from you and throw it straight in the trash.
Olivia Benson - Law & Order: SVU
Benson is too uptight and serious to even begin to know how to have fun. Not only that, she's a cop, and if you step out of line, she won't hesitate to cuff you.
Mary Louise Wright - Big Little Lies
Mary Louise will find something wrong with everything. From your outfit to the beer you brought along to where you decided to sit, Mary Louise will complain. She'd even complain about the weather being too hot or too cold even if it was perfect. You couldn't drink enough alcohol to erase her misery from your mind.
Marjorie Armstrong-Perugian - Mom
Marjorie will embarrass you to no end. When the firemen come walking down the street, she'll be the first one to run out and try to grab something on them or any other guy who looks like he's worth her time.
Bill Avery - When Calls the Heart
Expect Bill Avery to climb up on his high horse and let you know who's boss. Parades can be boisterous, but if Bill had his way, there probably wouldn't even be a parade.
Sheldon Cooper - The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon will never understand the point of enjoying time outdoors. Even if you tried to slip him some booze to calm him down, he'd overanalyze what you were giving him to drink.
Logan Roy - Succession
Logan is a ruthless bastard who'd steal your front row seats if the opportunity arose. He'd also have no problems telling you what he thinks of your husband, kids, friends, and anyone else that comes his way.
Temperance Brennan - Bones
Can you imagine Bones at any type of social gathering? Neither can we. She'd make you crazy with her annoying, robotic voice. Even worse would be her inability to understand the joy in sitting around and doing nothing.
Brain Griffin - Family Guy
If there's something to criticize about the American way of life, Brian is the one you can count on to let you know. All you want to do is enjoy the sights and sounds of the parade, not have it ruined by a know-it-all dog.
Castiel - Supernatural
He's an angel. Of course, he's going to judge everything you do that might not be on the right side of things.
Isaac - The Orville
Isaac will never understand the meaning of fun because, well, he's a robot, and robots just don't understand fun no matter how many times you try to explain it. Not only that, Isaac is rude, arrogant, and judgmental, and all three of those will turn your smile upside down.
Chloe Decker - Lucifer
She might have once had a crazy night out with the girls, but she'll never let that happen again. She's too straight-and-narrow to let anyone have any fun!
Claire Fraser - Outlander
Claire will be sure to let you know she's the boss of everything -- even if it's your get-together. If she doesn't like something, she won't hold back from telling you how it is. And telling you how it's supposed to be done.
Colin Robinson - What We Do in the Shadows
Colin won't be able to stop his nonsensical chatter. Before you know it, the parade will be over, and you won't even remember what happened.
Erin Reagan-Boyle - Blue Bloods
If we say "uppity" ten thousand times, it still won't be enough to give Erin her due justice. She's not a fun person, and if you put even one toe outside the line, her head will start spinning.
Dawn Summers - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The stupidity level of this girl is beyond words. The minute you learn she's going to make an appearance, you'll lose so many brain cells, you won't make it out of your house.
Debbie Downer - Saturday Night Live
Her name says it all. Just when you're at the peak of fun, Debbie Downer will show up to crash your happiness to hell.
Junior Johnson - Black-ish
He's a little weird and a lot whiny so there's no point in leaving the house if Junior is tagging along. He'd probably cry if you got more candy than him, and let's not even talk about what he might wear in public.
Debbie Eagan - GLOW
Who wants to be the star of the show? Debbie does. Debbie wants to be the star of everything and if she doesn't get the attention she craves, prepare for a nuclear meltdown. There's nothing worse than someone spoiling your good time by having a hissy fit for no reason.
Alan Harper - Two and a Half Men
The parade isn't even half over, and Alan will already want to go home. And if you don't leave in an instant, he'll probably start whining which will make everything more miserable than it already is.
Felicity Smoak - Arrow
Felicity is another character whose need for attention overrides any kind of good taste. It doesn't matter if you're making googly eyes with that hot policeman if there's an opportunity for her to make it about herself, she will.
Gregory House - House
Who wants to hang around a curmudgeon who delights in making everyone life miserable? He won't joke, he barely smiles, and he'll make you wish you were anywhere else but around him.
Lee Thompkins - Gotham
Lee Thompkins is a goody two shoes who will roll her eyes at everything you do. She'll judge you if your shorts are too short, if your top is skimpy, and most importantly, she'll call you out on that mocha latte you're drinking that's really a mudslide.
Michael Scott - The Office
Michael's constant need for attention is enough to put anyone off. If he had the chance, he'd kick the parade queen off her throne just to show you he was the one who really deserved the title.
Monica Geller - Friends
Monica will probably go up to all the little kids throwing candy to let them know they're doing it wrong. Or anyone on the parade route she thinks is stepping out of her need for order. Just pretend you don't know her.
Donald Ressler - The Blacklist
Ressler wants to look like he's the good guy even if he does questionable things no one is around to see. He probably wouldn't have any problems getting lit before he heads out, but if he catches you doing it, there will be hell to pay.
Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds
There are times to relax and have fun, and times to be serious. In Spencer's world, every moment of the waking day is time to be serious. And serious people like him have no idea how to have a good time.
Toby Ziegler - The West Wing
Toby is a glass-half-empty kind of guy who will look at every situation and think of the worst possible scenario. When the fire engine sirens go off, he'll think it's an impending nuclear disaster.
John Yossarian - Catch-22
This guy is as paranoid as they come. Since Yossarian thinks everyone is out to kill him, he'll probably throw back the candy that was just thrown his way. And he probably won't drink the beer you brought or any of the snacks, either. In fact, there's probably nothing he'll enjoy about the parade which will make your day out a horrible experience.
Rebecca Pearson - This is Us
Kate had to get her self-absorbed personality from someone. Rebecca is just as bad or worse than her daughter. If it's not about her, then she doesn't want anything to do with it. Who wants to hang out with someone who needs constant attention?
Jethro Gibbs - NCIS
Rules, rules, and more rules. When you're trying to have fun, do you really need or want rules?
Katsumoto - Magnum P.I.
Katsumoto probably doesn't like you even if he pretends he does. And he's a stickler for the rules which rains on everybody's parade.
Aziraphale - Good Omens
There is no way Aziraphale will find any enjoyment in dressing down and downing a few beers. Nor will he like sitting around anyone who isn't up to his standards. And that probably means you and all your friends.
Saru - Star Trek: Discovery
Saru might make an effort to enjoy himself, but loud noises, sparklers, and people screaming and yelling will probably set off his ganglia. And if his ganglia are showing, it's time to pack up and go home.