Quotables for Week Ending April 22, 2016

at .  Updated at .

More fun with quotes this week!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend finished off the season, Vikings went into hiatus, The Night Manager premiered on AMC and 12 Monkeys returned to Syfy in thrilling fashion.

To find out what else was going on in television, let the characters tell you themselves by way of these magnificent quotes!

1. Criminal Minds

Heading to prison criminal minds

There's a storm coming, Agent Hotchner. And you're about to be swept away.

Antonia
There's a storm coming, Agent Hotchner. And you're about to be swept away.

2. Vikings

Rollo leads the franks vikings

We don't know where Ragnar is. He left soon after his defeat in Paris. We haven't seen him in years.

Aslaug
We don't know where Ragnar is. He left soon after his defeat in Paris. We haven't seen him in years.

3. Scandal

An agonizing choice scandal

I've been reading about you. For a screw up you're actually very bright.

Rowan
I've been reading about you. For a screw up you're actually very bright.

4. Last Man on Earth

Prank war the last man on earth

No! You two are even now. You made him feel awful for missing your grandma's death. This is just a classic tit-for-tat situation. Your head's the tat and your grandma was the tit.

Carol
No! You two are even now. You made him feel awful for missing your grandma's death. This is just a classic tit-for-tat situation. Your...

5. Once Upon a Time

Ruby looks for help once upon a time

So you finally see the beast behind the man. Maybe you can understand why I'm not rushing to Hades with open arms.

Zelena
So you finally see the beast behind the man. Maybe you can understand why I'm not rushing to Hades with open arms.

6. Quantico

Security clearance quantico

Brandon: You've never gotten high before, not even once? Because of your religion?
Raina: Because I'm not an idiot.

Brandon: You've never gotten high before, not even once? Because of your religion? Raina: Because I'm not an idiot.

7. 12 Monkeys

Ramse wonders why 12 monkeys s2e1

Ramse: Let me ask you, why is the Army of the 12 Monkeys trying to kill me?
Olivia: Because your death is preordained. You served your purpose. Now the plague is imminent. It was your guidance that led us to the virus and for this we're grateful, but now your cycle is complete. So long traveler.

Ramse: Let me ask you, why is the Army of the 12 Monkeys trying to kill me? Olivia: Because your death is preordained. You served your...

8. Madam Secretary

Negotiating with russia madam secretary

Elizabeth: Is Hello Kitty still in?
Stevie: Oh, Hello Kitty is the Chanel of our time. It'll never be out.
Elizabeth: That's just a little bit depressing.

Elizabeth: Is Hello Kitty still in? Stevie: Oh, Hello Kitty is the Chanel of our time. It'll never be out. Elizabeth: That's just a...

9. The Good Wife

Will peter be going to prison the good wife

I don't like Canada, it's too clean. I always want to litter here.

Lucca
I don't like Canada, it's too clean. I always want to litter here.

10. Outlander

That dress outlander

Jamie: Scotland doesn't exactly smell like a lady's boudoir.
Murtagh: Aye. But it's an animal smell. This city reeks of the chamber pot.

Jamie: Scotland doesn't exactly smell like a lady's boudoir. Murtagh: Aye. But it's an animal smell. This city reeks of the chamber pot.

11. Elementary

The real murder elementary

Sherlock: You're typically more expansive after your first hit of caffeine.
Joan: Yeah, well, you brought a bald cat to breakfast. I'm a little distracted.

Sherlock: You're typically more expansive after your first hit of caffeine. Joan: Yeah, well, you brought a bald cat to breakfast. I'm a...

12. The Blacklist

Woman on the run the blacklist

I would give anything to be part of that child’s life. But a man made it clear I would never see her, hold her.

Red
I would give anything to be part of that child’s life. But a man made it clear I would never see her, hold her.

13. Chicago Fire

Gang retribution chicago fire

What can I say? I got a magic tongue. [to Mouch] Don't say it.

Kidd
What can I say? I got a magic tongue. [to Mouch] Don't say it.

14. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Paula needs to get over josh crazy ex girlfriend

Rebecca: Did you fart?
Greg: Yeah, I did. I ate a bean burrito out of the freezer from the nineties, cause I don't care. And, uh...I have a candle, do you want, I have a triple wick, I can get...I don't care though.

Rebecca: Did you fart? Greg: Yeah, I did. I ate a bean burrito out of the freezer from the nineties, cause I don't care. And, uh...I have...

15. Family Guy

Brian griffin pic

Peter: Is that the one where they make his dress in little shorts and hats like the guy from AC/DC?
Brian: Yeah. Why does he wear that outfit?
Peter: 'Cuz he rocks!

Peter: Is that the one where they make his dress in little shorts and hats like the guy from AC/DC? Brian: Yeah. Why does he wear that...

16. The 100

The group returns to arkadia the 100 season 3 episode 12

The warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over.

Octavia
The warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over.

17. Lucifer

Exploring a new world

If that's supposed to be an offering for me, I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Lucifer
If that's supposed to be an offering for me, I decline on grounds of salmonella.

18. Jane the Virgin

The aftermath jane the virgin

Narrator: And friends, that's when Mateo said his first word.
Mateo: Dada.
Narrator: Unfortunately, he said it to the wrong man.

Narrator: And friends, that's when Mateo said his first word. Mateo: Dada. Narrator: Unfortunately, he said it to the wrong man.

19. Supergirl

Saving the planet supergirl

I'm sorry if I kissed you when you weren't in control of yourself, because I am all about consent.

Kara
I'm sorry if I kissed you when you weren't in control of yourself, because I am all about consent.

20. Scorpion

Avoiding a meltdown scorpion

Walter: Why do we keep getting invoices from the United States Treasury?
Paige: Because we flooded Fort Knox.

Walter: Why do we keep getting invoices from the United States Treasury? Paige: Because we flooded Fort Knox.

21. Bones

Dr jack hodgins

No, I have plenty of feeling. Anger, rage, biting sarcasm, although I'm not sure that last one is a feeling or just a really pissy attitude.

Hodgins
No, I have plenty of feeling. Anger, rage, biting sarcasm, although I'm not sure that last one is a feeling or just a really pissy...

22. Bates Motel

Therapy bates motel

Romero: What the hell? What the hell? What was that? What?
Norma: When I was, um, a teenager. It was a long time ago, um. I slept with my brother. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. Oh. So sorry. He's Dylan's father.

Romero: What the hell? What the hell? What was that? What? Norma: When I was, um, a teenager. It was a long time ago, um. I slept with my...

23. Blindspot

A dubious order blindspot

The sex is surprisingly vanilla. I keep telling people, hello we’re in prison. What are you afraid of? Just get in and go for and just have some fun. Treat me like a piece of meat.

Rich Dotcom
The sex is surprisingly vanilla. I keep telling people, hello we’re in prison. What are you afraid of? Just get in and go for and just...

24. The Flash

Armed and ready the flash

Barry: Who's the guy in the iron mask?
Hunter: You wouldn't believe me if I told ya.

Barry: Who's the guy in the iron mask? Hunter: You wouldn't believe me if I told ya.

25. Chicago Med

Drastic measures chicago med

Sarah: Look -- Joey gave me the bubonic plague!
Will: Wow. He must really like you.

Sarah: Look -- Joey gave me the bubonic plague! Will: Wow. He must really like you.

26. NCIS

Tim mcgee picture

McGee: You know, the fact that so much time has passed now, you don't even have to disclose those deaths when you sell.
Tony: Wait, is that true?

McGee: You know, the fact that so much time has passed now, you don't even have to disclose those deaths when you sell. Tony: Wait, is...

27. Agents of SHIELD

Chloe bennet as agent daisy johnson agents of shield

Daisy: Had to get the band back together. Anyone that can fly this thing?
Jemma: May, you can't even walk.
May: But I can still fly.

Daisy: Had to get the band back together. Anyone that can fly this thing? Jemma: May, you can't even walk. May: But I can still fly.

28. Grey's Anatomy

A boy is shot greys anatomy

Zola: Why did Aunt Maggie stop having S-E-X with DeLuca?
Meredith: [pause] Because he couldn't handle that she was his B-O-S-S. Do not ever date a man who can't handle your P-O-W-E-R.

Zola: Why did Aunt Maggie stop having S-E-X with DeLuca? Meredith: [pause] Because he couldn't handle that she was his B-O-S-S. Do not...

29. NCIS: New Orleans

Breaking protocol ncis new orleans

I don't care what track he's on. Fraternizing with a superior officer is no bueno.

LaSalle
I don't care what track he's on. Fraternizing with a superior officer is no bueno.

30. The Americans

Everything she knows the americans

Martha: Jennifer's not your sister.
Philip: No.
Martha: Are you involved with her?
Philip: We've worked together fora long time.
Martha: For who?
Philip: We work for the KGB.

Martha: Jennifer's not your sister. Philip: No. Martha: Are you involved with her? Philip: We've worked together fora long time. Martha:...

31. Empire

Regaining his position empire

Lucious: I'd love to put some of your thoughts to work.
Cookie: Yeah, I think you already did that.

Lucious: I'd love to put some of your thoughts to work. Cookie: Yeah, I think you already did that.

32. Nashville

Juliette is uncomfortable nashville

I'm relaunching my tour in less than 24 hours with his name on the ticket and you're telling me he just up and disappeared?

Luke
I'm relaunching my tour in less than 24 hours with his name on the ticket and you're telling me he just up and disappeared?

33. Orphan Black

The next aspect orphan black

Alison: But she didn't share every little thing, she protected us.
Cosima: Like from a clone in a mask. What's up with that?
Sarah: Art just said she wore a sheep mask. What?
Cosima [laughing]: Dolly the sheep.
Alison: For the record, I do not find that even remotely amusing.

Alison: But she didn't share every little thing, she protected us. Cosima: Like from a clone in a mask. What's up with that? Sarah: Art...

34. Gotham

Down the dark alley gotham season 2 episode 18

I'm not afraid to die. Not if it means doing the right thing.

Bruce
I'm not afraid to die. Not if it means doing the right thing.

35. Game of Silence

Jackson questions the plan game of silence

Jackson: He may look a little different, but he's still just a scared little kid.
Marina: Are you sure we're talking to the same guy?
Jackson: We need to humanize him. DA's gonna paint him as a monster, but that's not who he was when he went in. Juvie did that, Huntsville's gonna make him worse.

Jackson: He may look a little different, but he's still just a scared little kid. Marina: Are you sure we're talking to the same guy?...

36. Legends of Tomorrow

Young mick in trouble dcs legends of tomorrow

Ray: How long does it take for the past to affect the present? Could I be dead right now? Maybe I am dead right now. ... Hello? Can anybody hear me?
Snart: No.

Ray: How long does it take for the past to affect the present? Could I be dead right now? Maybe I am dead right now. ... Hello? Can...

Wait! There's more Quotables for Week Ending April 22, 2016! Just click "Next" below:

Show Comments
Tags:
TV Quotes, Photo Galleries
Shows:
Outlander, The Last Man on Earth, Once Upon a Time, Family Guy, Quantico, 12 Monkeys, Madam Secretary, The Good Wife, Elementary, Gotham, Lucifer, Jane the Virgin, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Supergirl, Scorpion, Bates Motel, Blindspot, The Flash, Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, NCIS: New Orleans, NCIS, The Night Manager, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Americans, Empire, Criminal Minds, Nashville, Orphan Black, Game of Silence, Bones, DC's Legends of Tomorrow, The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, The Blacklist, The 100, Scandal, Vikings, The Vampire Diaries, Grimm
Related Photos:
TV Quotes Slideshows, Photo Galleries Slideshows, Outlander Slideshows, The Last Man on Earth Slideshows, Once Upon a Time Slideshows, Family Guy Slideshows, Quantico Slideshows, 12 Monkeys Slideshows, Madam Secretary Slideshows, Good Wife Slideshows, Elementary Slideshows, Gotham Slideshows, Lucifer Slideshows, Jane the Virgin Slideshows, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Slideshows, Supergirl Slideshows, Scorpion Slideshows, Bates Motel Slideshows, Blindspot Slideshows, The Flash Slideshows, Chicago Fire Slideshows, Chicago Med Slideshows, NCIS: New Orleans Slideshows, NCIS Slideshows, The Night Manager Slideshows, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Slideshows, The Americans Slideshows, Empire Slideshows, Criminal Minds Slideshows, Nashville Slideshows, Orphan Black Slideshows, Game of Silence Slideshows, Bones Slideshows, DC's Legends of Tomorrow Slideshows, TBBT Slideshows, Grey's Anatomy Slideshows, The Blacklist Slideshows, The 100 Slideshows, Scandal Slideshows, Vikings Slideshows, Vampire Diaries Slideshows, Grimm Slideshows
Related Post:
Created by:
Published:
Modified: