Quotables for Week Ending March 26, 2016

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The Secretary of State was visiting colleges on Madam Secretary this week.

Hannah was recalling her time at Oberlin on Girls.

But it wasn't all university talk, as Martha dedicated her book to her son on Castle, and Liza had mourning sex with Josh on the season finale of Younger.

See what else was going on this week when you check out the quotable moments below!

1. Agents of SHIELD

Lance hunter meets with coulson on on agents of shield season 2

What are the chances he just tripped and fell and wrapped himself in a nice, comfy tarp?

Hunter
What are the chances he just tripped and fell and wrapped himself in a nice, comfy tarp?

2. Vinyl

Descending into debauchery vinyl

I can't be the first person who ever mentioned it to your face. The logo looks like a toilet.

Andie
I can't be the first person who ever mentioned it to your face. The logo looks like a toilet.

3. Quantico

Defensive driving quantico

Every morning I put a gun in my mouth. Have you ever tasted a gun, Alex? It's awful. It's the only thing that feels right to me.

Simon
Every morning I put a gun in my mouth. Have you ever tasted a gun, Alex? It's awful. It's the only thing that feels right to me.

4. Once Upon a Time

Rumplestiltskinmr gold photo

Don't worry, I'm not dead. Just visiting.

Rumplestiltskin
Don't worry, I'm not dead. Just visiting.

5. Girls

Time away girls

You know, I've actually never had sex with a woman before. I mean, I've done other stuff. I went to Oberlin, so I'm not, like, a monster.

Hannah
You know, I've actually never had sex with a woman before. I mean, I've done other stuff. I went to Oberlin, so I'm not, like, a monster.

6. The Good Wife

Getting cozy the good wife

Oh my God! My family needs a full time investigator. That's not normal, is it?

Alicia
Oh my God! My family needs a full time investigator. That's not normal, is it?

7. Madam Secretary

College campus tour madam secretary

Goodbye Madam Secretary, hello another college mom.

Elizabeth
Goodbye Madam Secretary, hello another college mom.

8. Elementary

The real identity elementary

In what universe are these people not all dead of cancer?

Sherlock [about superheroes' origin stories]
In what universe are these people not all dead of cancer?

9. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Dream ghosts crazy ex girlfriend

I imagine my life as a series of musical numbers.

Rebecca
I imagine my life as a series of musical numbers.

10. Shameless

Kev looks for a way around shameless

I didn't think your wedding was going to become an annual tradition like thanksgiving.

Veronica
I didn't think your wedding was going to become an annual tradition like thanksgiving.

11. Bitten

Saving marsten bitten

Nick: Why do I get the feeling I'll be looking for elderwood and hemlock soon?
Paige: Nope, but I will need crickets and pine cones.
Nick: Great.

Nick: Why do I get the feeling I'll be looking for elderwood and hemlock soon? Paige: Nope, but I will need crickets and pine cones....

12. Gotham

Bathtime gotham season 2 episode 15

I don't mind stealing if it's from criminals.

Bruce
I don't mind stealing if it's from criminals.

13. Supergirl

Manhunter supergirl

Winn: Do you think Supergirl's lost the public's trust for good?
Cat: I suppose if Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.

Winn: Do you think Supergirl's lost the public's trust for good? Cat: I suppose if Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then...

14. Scorpion

Putting the moves on paige scorpion

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but then I get to sue you.

Heywood Jahelpme
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but then I get to sue you.

15. Bates Motel

Norman struggles bates motel

Romero: See? Alcohol just makes it so much easier.
Norma: I can see you're going to be a great influence.

Romero: See? Alcohol just makes it so much easier. Norma: I can see you're going to be a great influence.

16. The Magicians

The netherlands the magicians

Now I kinda feel like a dick for making fun of your Garden State soundtrack.

Quentin
Now I kinda feel like a dick for making fun of your Garden State soundtrack.

17. Castle

Rick castle photo

Castle: “For Richard - Without your constant stumbles in life the advice in this book would not have been possible.” Constant stumbles?
Martha: Let's not make this about you.

Castle: “For Richard - Without your constant stumbles in life the advice in this book would not have been possible.” Constant stumbles?...

18. Lucifer

Have a drink padre lucifer season 1 episode 8

Father Frank: We all have demons inside.
Lucifer: My demon tends the bar.

Father Frank: We all have demons inside. Lucifer: My demon tends the bar.

19. Jane the Virgin

Pablo and alba jane the virgin

Jane: If he doesn't respond, then there's something definitely wrong.
Narrator: Something is definitely wrong. God, this is frustrating.

Jane: If he doesn't respond, then there's something definitely wrong. Narrator: Something is definitely wrong. God, this is frustrating.

20. New Girl

Winston bishop picture

You know what would be nice? A wedding invitation engraved on a plate. What a magical wedding that would be.

Winston
You know what would be nice? A wedding invitation engraved on a plate. What a magical wedding that would be.

21. Younger

Somber morning younger

Josh: That was great!
Liza: That was mourning sex.
Josh: What are you talking about? It's three o'clock in the afternoon!
Liza: You know what I mean...?

Josh: That was great! Liza: That was mourning sex. Josh: What are you talking about? It's three o'clock in the afternoon! Liza: You know...

22. Stitchers

Lockdown stitchers

Camille: How does it feel to save the day?
Linus: It doesn't suck.

Camille: How does it feel to save the day? Linus: It doesn't suck.

23. The Flash

Trajectory the flash

Caitlin: Why is she running back and forth?
Cisco: Villains gonna vil.

Caitlin: Why is she running back and forth? Cisco: Villains gonna vil.

24. iZombie

Looking different

Rationalization isn't just a river in Egypt.

Ravi
Rationalization isn't just a river in Egypt.

25. Awkward

The real world awkward

Chop chop Tilda Skankton. You work retail, so work it.

Sadie
Chop chop Tilda Skankton. You work retail, so work it.

26. NCIS

Tony dinozzo

Tony: My father brought a straight off the street bag lady into my apartment, rusty old shopping cart and all. And dad said that it was your idea, Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'm glad he found her.

Tony: My father brought a straight off the street bag lady into my apartment, rusty old shopping cart and all. And dad said that it was...

27. NCIS: New Orleans

Laurel is a target ncis new orleans

Loretta: You're perfectly able to look after yourself normally, but when things get personal, I can't help but worry about your judgment.
Pride: Loretta!
Loretta: That you may end up on the wrong side of my autopsy table.

Loretta: You're perfectly able to look after yourself normally, but when things get personal, I can't help but worry about your judgment....

28. Rosewood

A balancing act rosewood

I can say a lot of words to describe your new place, amazing isn't one of them.

Rosewood
I can say a lot of words to describe your new place, amazing isn't one of them.

29. The Americans

Were in trouble the americans

Phillip: Gabriel said something about getting something from Level 4.
William: Do you even know what Level 4 is?
Phillip: One level higher than Level 3.

Phillip: Gabriel said something about getting something from Level 4. William: Do you even know what Level 4 is? Phillip: One level...

30. Arrow

Wedded bliss arrow

Oliver: I did say that I was gonna cancel, and I am gonna cancel, but I haven't canceled...yet. When I pick up the phone to do that, it means it's over.
Felicity: It is over.

Oliver: I did say that I was gonna cancel, and I am gonna cancel, but I haven't canceled...yet. When I pick up the phone to do that, it...

31. Law & Order: SVU

Sex trafficking law and order svu

I know what you think about the Catholic church, but it is NYPD cops who are trafficking these girls.

Monsignor
I know what you think about the Catholic church, but it is NYPD cops who are trafficking these girls.

32. Chicago PD

Coming clean chicago pd

Burgess: We want to try something. Go on the app, put in a profile similar to Kosar's. Catfish the catfisher.
Platt: Is that a Dr. Seuss book?

Burgess: We want to try something. Go on the app, put in a profile similar to Kosar's. Catfish the catfisher. Platt: Is that a Dr. Seuss...

33. Criminal Minds

Targeting the bau criminal minds

As a good friend of mine said, every ending is also a beginning. We just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe she's right.

Morgan
As a good friend of mine said, every ending is also a beginning. We just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe she's right.

34. Supernatural

A dangerous creature is released supernatural

Bobby: Were you ever nice?
Rufus: 1985. Worst year of my life.

Bobby: Were you ever nice? Rufus: 1985. Worst year of my life.

35. Nashville

More questions nashville

When I'm out on the road, I tend to focus more on my fans than my finances.

Luke
When I'm out on the road, I tend to focus more on my fans than my finances.

36. You, Me and the Apocalypse

Before or after you me and the apocalypse

Paula: What have you been doing with your life?
Dave: I dunno, Angry Birds?

Paula: What have you been doing with your life? Dave: I dunno, Angry Birds?

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Vinyl, Quantico, Once Upon a Time, Girls, The Good Wife, Madam Secretary, Elementary, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Shameless, Bitten, Gotham, Supergirl, Scorpion, Bates Motel, The Magicians, Castle, Lucifer, Jane the Virgin, New Girl, Younger, Stitchers, The Flash, iZombie, Awkward, NCIS, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Shadowhunters, NCIS: New Orleans, Rosewood, The Americans, Arrow, Law & Order: SVU, Chicago PD, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Nashville, You, Me and the Apocalypse, Grey's Anatomy, Shades of Blue, Vikings, Grimm
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TV Quotes Quotes

Veronica: Don’t worry, Cheryl. I will be transferring our powers to you via a kiss.
Cheryl: A, that’s queer-baiting. And B, won’t your poison kiss kill me?
Veronica: A, it’s not queer-baiting; it’s saving the world. And B, pretty sure your phoenix power trumps my poison power.

People seem to have forgotten, the more you enjoy sales, the more money you make. But if you're gonna stay out all night, iron the box lines out of your shirt.

Clement