Quotables for Week Ending October 1, 2015

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It's another week of debuts and departures. 

Saying hello this week are new series Quantico, The Grinder, Blood & Oil and Code Black, while returning series include The Blacklist, Hawaii Five-0, Family Guy, Chicago PD, Agents of SHIELD and The Last Man on Earth.

We knowingly said our final farewells to CSI and unknowingly (at the time) to Chasing Life, which has been canceled since the time the second season premiere aired. 

Check out the quotes and let us know if we missed your favorite!

1. Hawaii Five-0

A pirate story hawaii five 0

Jerry: Beta had better picture, better sound. But, for some reason the format never caught on with the general public.
Danny: Is that a conspiracy, too?
Jerry: No. Just a basic format war. Not everything's a conspiracy.
Danny: I like you. Why is he here?

Jerry: Beta had better picture, better sound. But, for some reason the format never caught on with the general public. Danny: Is that a...

2. Quantico

The best and the brightest quantico

The only thing they could have redacted about him is where he gets his abs sprayed on.

Shelby
The only thing they could have redacted about him is where he gets his abs sprayed on.

3. Doctor Who

The doctors temptation doctor who

In a way, this is why I gave her to you in the first place; to make you see. A friend inside the enemy, the enemy inside the friend. Everyone’s a bit of both. Everyone's a hybrid.

Missy
In a way, this is why I gave her to you in the first place; to make you see. A friend inside the enemy, the enemy inside the friend....

4. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Holt is transferred brooklyn nine nine

You know my motto sir, chos before hoes. "Chos" woud be chores.

Jake
You know my motto sir, chos before hoes. "Chos" woud be chores.

5. Once Upon a Time

The evil queen image

Hook: It needs darkness. You've gone soft.
Regina: You want to see soft? Why don't I use that hook to show you your intestines?

Hook: It needs darkness. You've gone soft. Regina: You want to see soft? Why don't I use that hook to show you your intestines?

6. Ray Donovan

Thats not lipstick ray donovan

Ray, faith is the evidence of things not seen. You asked God for forgiveness. That has to be enough. The rest is out of your control. May God grant you pardon and peace. I absolve you of your sins. In the name of The Father and The Son and of The Holy Ghost.

Father Romero
Ray, faith is the evidence of things not seen. You asked God for forgiveness. That has to be enough. The rest is out of your control. May...

7. Masters of Sex

In jeopardy masters of sex

You are the biggest fool that I know, but much to my heart's regret, I am the second biggest fool. Oh you cannot begin to understand the things that I have given up for you, the happiness that I have turned my back on for this family.

Libby
You are the biggest fool that I know, but much to my heart's regret, I am the second biggest fool. Oh you cannot begin to understand the...

8. The Strain

Gus on the hunt the strain

The Master saved your life Eldrtich, as well as hers. Do you not remember this? If you do not provide the funds for the Lumen, you will never get another drop of the white. Oh you thought its effects are permanent. Sorry to disappoint you, if you don’t get more soon you shall wither and die.

Eichhorst
The Master saved your life Eldrtich, as well as hers. Do you not remember this? If you do not provide the funds for the Lumen, you will...

9. CSI

Brass and willows csi s16e1

Sara: Terrorism.
D.B. Russell: Why do you say that?
Sara: Vegas is terrified.

Sara: Terrorism. D.B. Russell: Why do you say that? Sara: Vegas is terrified.

10. The Last Man on Earth

Road trip the last man on earth

(to herself) Hm. Nice. Could use a little razzmatazz, though. Bam. "Oooh, Carol, where did you get such an expensive T-shirt? In the jewel markets of Monaco?"

Carol
(to herself) Hm. Nice. Could use a little razzmatazz, though. Bam. "Oooh, Carol, where did you get such an expensive T-shirt? In the...

11. Fear the Walking Dead

The plan fear the walking dead

I can do anything I want. I've got guns.

Moyers
I can do anything I want. I've got guns.

12. Family Guy

Brian griffin pic

God he must be the coolest fat guy in a train conductor's cap in the world!

Brian (referring to George R. R. Martin)
God he must be the coolest fat guy in a train conductor's cap in the world!

13. Minority Report

Dash visits arthur again minority report

It didn't feel like anything, when I killed Rutledge. And it's not that I'm not processing it. It's just, I've seen 700 murders Vega.

Dash
It didn't feel like anything, when I killed Rutledge. And it's not that I'm not processing it. It's just, I've seen 700 murders Vega.

14. The Muppets

Josh groban and miss piggy the muppets

Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone was a little more like me?

Josh Groban
Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone was a little more like me?

15. The Grinder

The grinder and his brother

Dean: Let's say you're in a restaurant and Noah Wyle is two tables down. You go into cardiac arrest, you don't think Noah Wyle could step in and help?
Stewart: Yes he could help, by calling a doctor, because he is an actor.

Dean: Let's say you're in a restaurant and Noah Wyle is two tables down. You go into cardiac arrest, you don't think Noah Wyle could step...

16. The Big Bang Theory

Post break up the big bang theory

Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.

Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift. Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what...

17. Scorpion

A woman from his past scorpion s2e2

I value our relationship. You are a dear friend. Best, Sylvester Dodd. This is sadder than Old Yeller.

Toby
I value our relationship. You are a dear friend. Best, Sylvester Dodd. This is sadder than Old Yeller.

18. Chasing Life

Trip to rome chasing life

You don't know what it's like to constantly feel like someone's second choice.

Natalie
You don't know what it's like to constantly feel like someone's second choice.

19. Significant Mother

Saving the house significant mother

Lydia: I'm not having a midlife crisis.
Parker: Somebody should tell your shorts that.

Lydia: I'm not having a midlife crisis. Parker: Somebody should tell your shorts that.

20. NCIS: Los Angeles

M deeks pic

They spent six months digging through my life before I got the job offer to work here. Grade school report cards, interviewing neighbors, polygraphs, they did a full body cavity search...of my life.

Deeks
They spent six months digging through my life before I got the job offer to work here. Grade school report cards, interviewing neighbors,...

21. Blindspot

A heads up blindspot

Jane: What if I was a terrible person before all of this?
Kurt: I don't think you were, Jane.

Jane: What if I was a terrible person before all of this? Kurt: I don't think you were, Jane.

22. Awkward

Jenna learns the truth awkward

Jenna: Tamara get back here.
Tamara: Take a chill pill, Solange Knowles.

Jenna: Tamara get back here. Tamara: Take a chill pill, Solange Knowles.

23. Switched at Birth

Mingos plan switched at birth

Do you think it's OK that I brought wine? I didn't want to come empty handed, but I don't want your parents to think I'm a booze hound or something.

Mingo
Do you think it's OK that I brought wine? I didn't want to come empty handed, but I don't want your parents to think I'm a booze hound or...

24. Castle

If it all ends like this castle s8e2

Castle: Do you have any idea how worried I was?
Beckett: Yeah, I do. I was gone for 36 hours. A year ago you were gone for eight weeks.

Castle: Do you have any idea how worried I was? Beckett: Yeah, I do. I was gone for 36 hours. A year ago you were gone for eight weeks.

25. Public Morals

The line of fire public morals s1e6

Jesus, listen to me. Sound like some old woman, rattling her beads and moaning about her life. Good God.

Joe Patton
Jesus, listen to me. Sound like some old woman, rattling her beads and moaning about her life. Good God.

26. NCIS

Gossip about gibbs ncis

Mitchell: I've been chasing Long for two years. I'm still standing here with empty pockets.
Gibbs: You asked for my help. We're going to see this through, whatever it takes. I don't forget my debts, Mitch. I owe you.

Mitchell: I've been chasing Long for two years. I'm still standing here with empty pockets. Gibbs: You asked for my help. We're going to...

27. Scream Queens

Hester scream queens

Look, Chanel, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm sort of over this whole "serial murderer" thing that's going on right now. Last night, I had an amazing threesome with Roger and Dodger, and I realized that I'd rather focus my attention this semester on getting spit-roasted by hot golf frat twins than help you figure out who's murdering a bunch of dumb gashes!

Chanel #5
Look, Chanel, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm sort of over this whole "serial murderer" thing that's going on right now. Last night,...

28. The Bastard Executioner

Lady love the bastard executioner

Milus: Brattle! This is our mother's milk, this is what we are. What we know.
Wilkin: I'm not a man who does this.

Milus: Brattle! This is our mother's milk, this is what we are. What we know. Wilkin: I'm not a man who does this.

29. Limitless

Risking his job limitless

He defines himself in opposition to institutions. I know the mindset, I raised teenagers.

Naz
He defines himself in opposition to institutions. I know the mindset, I raised teenagers.

30. NCIS: New Orleans

A dark secret ncis new orleans

LaSalle: SEALs operate at a higher level of distrust. Sorta like Fight Club.
Percy: Oh, like the first rule of SEALs, don't talk about SEALs?

LaSalle: SEALs operate at a higher level of distrust. Sorta like Fight Club. Percy: Oh, like the first rule of SEALs, don't talk about...

31. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Powered people agents of shield

Coulson: Daisy damn it, hard for us to get used to, huh?
Mack/Hunter: Ah, no, just you.

Coulson: Daisy damn it, hard for us to get used to, huh? Mack/Hunter: Ah, no, just you.

32. Bones

Moving forward bones

You told me my husband was dead. Angry doesn't begin to cover it.

Brennan
You told me my husband was dead. Angry doesn't begin to cover it.

33. Empire

A difficult start empire

Let me tell you something ho, if it weren't for women like me, bitches like you would spend a lifetime on your knees. Or underneath my twenty year old son.

Cookie [to Anika]
Let me tell you something ho, if it weren't for women like me, bitches like you would spend a lifetime on your knees. Or underneath my...

34. Rosewood

Romantic pursuits rosewood

Everything's free, until it's not.

Rosewood
Everything's free, until it's not.

35. Law & Order: SVU

Prosecuting a bully law and order svu

That boy goes around dressed like a girl. You should be talking to his parents, not my son.

Darius' Mom
That boy goes around dressed like a girl. You should be talking to his parents, not my son.

36. Modern Family

Sofia vergara as gloria

What is with you Americans and the foot?

Gloria
What is with you Americans and the foot?

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Tag:
TV Quotes
Shows:
Hawaii Five-0, Quantico, Doctor Who, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Once Upon a Time, Ray Donovan, Masters of Sex, The Strain, CSI, The Last Man on Earth, Fear the Walking Dead, Family Guy, Minority Report, The Muppets, The Grinder, The Big Bang Theory, Scorpion, Chasing Life, Significant Mother, NCIS: Los Angeles, Blindspot, Awkward, Switched at Birth, Castle, Public Morals, NCIS, Scream Queens, The Bastard Executioner, Limitless, NCIS: New Orleans, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Bones, Empire, Rosewood, Law & Order: SVU, Modern Family, The Mysteries of Laura, Chicago PD, Nashville, Criminal Minds, Code Black, You're the Worst, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, The Blacklist, Dominion, Heroes Reborn
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TV Quotes Slideshows, Hawaii Five-0 Slideshows, Quantico Slideshows, Doctor Who Slideshows, Brooklyn Nine-Nine Slideshows, Once Upon a Time Slideshows, Ray Donovan Slideshows, Masters of Sex Slideshows, The Strain Slideshows, CSI Slideshows, The Last Man on Earth Slideshows, Fear the Walking Dead Slideshows, Family Guy Slideshows, Minority Report Slideshows, The Muppets Slideshows, The Grinder Slideshows, TBBT Slideshows, Scorpion Slideshows, Chasing Life Slideshows, Significant Mother Slideshows, NCIS: Los Angeles Slideshows, Blindspot Slideshows, Awkward Slideshows, Switched at Birth Slideshows, Castle Slideshows, Public Morals Slideshows, NCIS Slideshows, Scream Queens Slideshows, The Bastard Executioner Slideshows, Limitless Slideshows, NCIS: New Orleans Slideshows, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Slideshows, Bones Slideshows, Empire Slideshows, Rosewood Slideshows, Law & Order: SVU Slideshows, Modern Family Slideshows, The Mysteries of Laura Slideshows, Chicago PD Slideshows, Nashville Slideshows, Criminal Minds Slideshows, Code Black Slideshows, You're the Worst Slideshows, Grey's Anatomy Slideshows, Scandal Slideshows, How to Get Away with Murder Slideshows, The Blacklist Slideshows, Dominion Slideshows, Heroes Reborn Slideshows
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TV Quotes Quotes

Inej: Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?
Kaz: Myself.
Inej: Why'd I even ask?
Kaz: And you. And Jesper. My Crows.
Inej: Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance, you named us after?
Kaz: Crows don't just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for. No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have.

Amanda: You don't know how you made it to the surface?
Nolan: No, but the purple skins do.
Amanda: Purple skins?
Nolan: I'll tell you on the way