Quotables for Week Ending October 15, 2015
Carissa Pavlica
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There is some pretty great stuff going down in the quotes this week.
Annalise Keating contemplating suicide on How to Get Away with Murder? If we didn't have the quote to prove it, we might not believe it ourselves. Also on Thursday, Elijah had some wicked words for his brother, Klaus about being a daddy.
Also in parenting this week, Laura has been pulling the wool over Jake's eyes on The Mysteries of Laura.
Elsewhere, there is a hilarious take on Reese Witherspoon's movie Wild on You're the Worst, and Chanel likens herself to Robert Durst on Scream Queens.
Get in on the fun while you scroll through our quotables!
1. Reign
Mary: Stop being so strong, so perfect, worrying about me when you...when we...
Francis: I don't know how much time we have left, but every moment matters. It always did, I just...I didn't see it before.
2. Doctor Who
The Doctor: Listen to me, we all have to face death eventually, be it ours or someone else's.
Clara: I'm not ready yet. Don't want to think about that, not yet.
The Doctor: I can't change what's already happened. There are rules.
Clara: So break them.
3. Gotham
You're not ashamed. You have no shame. You're not police. You're low life criminals.
Barnes
4. The Good Wife
Cary: How are things in the bar attorney trenches?
Alicia: Same as there only without the fees, resources or muffins.
5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Jake: Okay Charles, let's free an innocent woman.
Charles: Nice! My dreams are coming true. You and me, getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?
6. The Leftovers
Very interesting family, those Murphys. Hard to tell if they're part of your story of you're part of theirs. I'll see you when you get home, Kev. I'm not going anywhere!!
Patti
7. Blood and Oil
When I lie in bed at night with my perfect wife, in the perfect house with everything perfectly in place, I keep wishing that I was in a room with an unpainted spot.
Hap
8. Quantico
Hey, really cool spy training. What's next, how fast you can close a sandwich in a ziplock bag?
Caleb
9. Chicago Fire
Patterson: I'd like you to remain with the company. Your reputation as a firefighter is not in question.
Severide: No, just my ability to lead.
10. Scream Queens
Chin up, Chanel. At least you wore something nice today. Remember to smile for your mugshot, it'll be on Gawker by sundown. Oh my god, I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst! They'll know I'm guilty!
Chanel
11. You're the Worst
Paul took care of all that garbage. And now I don't have power. I don't have hot water. I don't have TV. I'm like a frontierswoman. I'm like Reese Witherspoon in that commercial for backpacks.
Lindsay
12. The Grinder
Nice try big fella, but after what the DVR did to the traditional ratings model I don't touch the damn things.
Dean
13. The Big Bang Theory
Blue Icees and a trip to the container store? It's like I died and went to the postmortem neuron induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.
Sheldon
14. Scorpion
We're working with a half eaten hoagie and a piece of chalk. It's not like we're mind readers.
Toby
15. Fargo
Lou: Ordered this kit of recipe cards, saw it on the TV. So now every night we eat delicacies of the world.
Hank: Some men like that. Variety.
Lou: She put a souffle on the table last night. Perfectly good casserole -- then lit it on fire with a kitchen match.
Hank: Huh?
Lou: Which reminds me, you're invited for dinner tomorrow.
16. Castle
Dad, when it comes to your sex life, how about we stick to the After School Special version.
Alexis
17. Jane the Virgin
Xo: How can I help?
Jane: When he opens his mouth, will you stuff my boob in it like it's a hamburger?
Xo: Honey, I am all over it.
18. The Muppets
Kermit: Bunsen, Beaker, why are you wearing each other's clothes?
Bunsen: If it happens outside of work, we don't owe an explanation.
19. Public Morals
I'm jealous, Kaye, because I love you. You know how hard it was for me when you went back to that miserable prick? You wanna talk jealous? You have no idea what jealousy like that can make a man do.
Rusty Patton
20. The Flash
Jay: They belong to a metahuman I fought before named Sand Demon.
Cisco: I know you're new here, so I'm just gonna break it down for you. The whole naming the bad guys thing? That's my jam. But you know what? I'm gonna let you have that one, because I actually kinda like it. I'm not mad at that one.
21. iZombie
Liv: What happened to Caesar?
Ravi: He came, he saw, he was stabbed several times in quick succession with a sharp, cylindrical object.
22. Grey's Anatomy
How many hours? How many days? How many surgeries have you spent with Edwards? She's been your right hand, so why was it so easy to question her integrity based on the word of a doctor you barely knew?
Richard
23. Chicago PD
Voight: So what's this for?
Dunn: Scare tactics.
Voight: I've heard of those. Me, I prefer actual physical violence.
24. The Vampire Diaries
Stefan: You killed him, didn't you?
Damon: Tyler? No. Jeremy once, but are we really bringing that up right now?
25. How to Get Away With Murder
I think about it a lot, killing myself. I have ever since I was a child. A lot of times I think the world would be a much better place without me in it. But I don't do it. You're a better woman than me and if I don't deserve to die, then you definitely don't.
Annalise
26. Homeland
Laura: I'm an American citizen. You have no right to hold me. I want my lawyer. Did you hear me? I want my lawyer!
Astrid: I heard you. You have a loud voice.
27. Family Guy
So I was wondering why this tampon commerical was so long, until I realized it was a rerun of Sex and The City
Brian
28. NCIS
Tony: So the illegal sports book was yours then?
Carver: No idea what you mean. But I'd love to know who exactly you heard it from.
Tony: Well I bet you would, but then, I have a feeling that the same thing would happen to him that happened to the last guy who pissed you off? So....
29. Limitless
I need to know you're taking this seriously, and that T-shirt isn't helping.
Naz
30. The Last Man on Earth
I did not know Gordon well. May he have a smooth journey to heaven... or hell. Again, I did not know him. By now, we are all so used to death as we have seen everyone in the world around us die. Every single person, dead. Just oodles and caboodles of death. Just heaps and piles... But Gordon will be missed.
Carol
31. Modern Family
Claire: You know Luke has failed that driver's test twice now right?
Mitchell: My options today are frat house, duck village, or car crash. I'm feeling very comfortable with my decision.
32. The Originals
This doesn't frighten you, brother, but one day your daughter will know exactly the kind of man that her father is. If anything should happen to Hayley, you mark my words, no one will have to take Hope from you. She will without question leave you of her own accord.
Elijah
33. Blue Bloods
Garrett: A three percent raise?
Frank: Hey, we're city employees, what did you expect?
34. Agents of SHIELD
Lincoln: Look, it's a misunderstanding. I promise you, I haven't done anything wrong.
John: Okay, that is all I need to hear. I know what kind of man you are.
35. Once Upon a Time
Zelena: There you are my lovely voice. It's so nice and friendly.
Regina: Shut up.
36. Empire
You are absolutely going to do the cover of Rolling Stone. This isn't when we hide, this is when we roar.
Lucious [to Jamal]
