"Wanna help me set up our band's Twitter profile?" Nashville
Gunnar: Wanna help me set up our band's Twitter profile?
Scarlett: We already have a Twitter profile?
Gunnar: Of course. We got to generate publicity. We just need a photo, that's all.
Gunnar: Well, if you don't upload a photo, then you're just an egg, and no one takes you seriously when you're just an egg.
"There's not car-jacking advocate." Law & Order: SVU
Carisi: There's not car-jacking advocate.
Rollins: When's the last time a car-jacking victim was asked "are you sure you didn't want your car to get stolen?"
"It's simple." Chicago PD
Lindsay: The kid matters to Voight, so it matters to me. That's the gig. It's simple.
"Ten obituaries!" Modern Family
Phil: You know what a human pyramid is without hours of training? Ten obituaries!
"I don't even have a regular plan." Arrow
Oliver: How's Ray?
Felicity: So much better than you right now. Please tell me you have a brilliant plan.
Oliver: I don't even have a regular plan.
"Okay, you're telling me that Ziva knew, too?" NCIS
McGee: Okay, you're telling me that Ziva knew, too?
Vance: Agent McGee, your ego is not the subject of this briefing.
"Who are you?" Agents of SHIELD
Skye: Who are you?
Gordon: I'm like you and I've come here as a friend. I can't imagine how it must've felt to go through your transformation without any understanding of what to expect. I had years to prepare and still, I was horrified by what I became.
"Yes, some memories are precious..." Forever
Henry: Yes, some memories are precious and we need to hang on to them. but Emily Dickinson wrote 'Forever is composed of nows' and she's right. If we root ourselves too deeply in the past we'll miss what's right in front of us.
"As you undertake your grievin, may that guide you as you contemplate your next move." Justified
Raylan: As you undertake your grievin, may that guide you as you contemplate your next move.
"Honey, nobody thinks anything that goes on in this family is even remotely normal." Finding Carter
Gammy: Honey, nobody thinks anything that goes on in this family is even remotely normal.
"God willing, Cindy" Weird Loners
Caryn: You do realize you're going to die alone too, right?
Stosh: God willing, Cindy.
"Son of a bitch, I ate the brains of a sociopath" iZombie
Liv: Son of a bitch, I ate the brains of a sociopath
"Look, whatever else he is, he is Harrison Wells." The Flash
Joe: Look, whatever else he is, he is Harrison Wells. You love science, he is science. It's like you made best friends with Einstein.
"I'm sorry." The Following
Mike: I'm sorry.
Max: What are you more sorry about? That I was beat to hell or that Mark got away?
"G's in the wrong place." NCIS: Los Angeles
Sam: G's in the wrong place.
Callen: Yeah, where do you want me?
Sam: Not you, the letter.
"I'm still trying to get use to you." The Returned
Rowan: I'm still trying to get use to you. So many things I wanted to tell you, to share with you, and now that you're here, I can't think of a single one of them.
"That thing in the shower. That is delightful." Castle
Castle: That thing in the shower. That is delightful.
Beckett: That is not a routine. That's two naked people singing when there's no one around to see or hear it.
"Okay, we can celebrate our near death experience later." Scorpion
Walter: Okay, we can celebrate our near death experience later.
"Well I'm not the one harboring my mother's rapist!" Bates Motel
Norman: What the hell's going on here, Dylan? Does mom know he's here? Is this what you two have been whispering about? Is she allowing this?
Dylan: No, we...we've been talking about you. We're concerned about you. About your state of mind.
Norman: Well I'm not the one harboring my mother's rapist!
"I know. It's so weird." Madam Secretary
Henry: When she hates you, it's a crisis. When she hates me, it's natural progression.
Elizabeth. I know. It's so weird.
"Respectfully Alicia, our interests have not been aligned..." The Good Wife
Diane: Respectfully Alicia, our interests have not been aligned since you used our office as a staging ground for your political career.
"No one goes near Henry but me." Once Upon a Time
Regina: No one goes near Henry but me. If you have a problem with that you can take it up with one of my fire balls.
"Hard to find a print in the pavement, Milt, but be my guest." Battle Creek
Milt: You see any footprints?
Russ: Hard to find a print in the pavement, Milt, but be my guest.
"I have one regret" Black Sails
Flint: I have one regret. I regret ever coming to this place with the assumption that a reconciliation could be found. That reason, could be a bridge between us. Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.
"Why can't you do it again? Aren't you half Hexenbiest?" Grimm
Juliette: Why can't you do it again? Aren't you half Hexenbiest?
Renard: Why does everyone keep making that mistake?! I am not a Hexenbiest, I'm a Zauberbiest. There's a difference.
"Wade, you are the piece of me that's always been missing." Hart of Dixie
Zoe: Wade, you are the piece of me that's always been missing. Through your eyes I see myself in a whole new, better way. And with you I know true love.
Wade: Zoe Hart, you turned my damn world upside down. But you made me a better man, and I am so excited to be your husband and to be our little boy's daddy.
"I am changed, so are you." Vikings
Ragnar: I always believed that death is a fate far better than life, for you will be reunited with lost loved ones. But we will never meet again my friend. I have a feeling that your God might object to me visiting you in Heaven. What am I to do now? I hate you for leaving me. I ache from your loss. There is nothing that can console me now. I am changed, so are you.
"What's the difference, right?" DIG
Lynn: It's late, what do you need?
Peter: I need a warrant to search the Jerusalem Heritage Center. The place I told you about? I'm pretty sure they're linked to Khalid and whatever got Vicki killed. Emma. Got Emma killed.
Lynn: What's the difference, right?
"I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry." Archer
Archer: Seriously, where do you keep the fruity drink powder? I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry.
Lana: How noble.
Archer: Well, no, I'd still bitch about it. And I think I've earned that right!
"I've been in that van." Scandal
Olivia: Cyrus must be loving this.
Abby: He's like a stormchaser in a van hurling down the highway, face pressed up against the windshield, grinning wildly, waiting for everything to go to Hell and wanting to be there when it does.
Olivia: I've been in that van.
"What reference?" The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Play that funky music, white boy!
Leonard: I'm surprised you know that reference.
Sheldon: What reference?
"It wouldn't be love if it didn't." Grey's Anatomy
Amelia: I think I'm falling in love with Owen Hunt, and I'm really afraid that it's gonna destroy me.
Derek: It wouldn't be love if it didn't.
Brennan: I took a selfie with a skull in my office and put its arms around me. #whimsicallyamusing