Quotables from Week Ending Jan 15, 2015

Zoe: Relax, Spider. They know about us. ~ Tony: Who knows? ~ Everyone: We all know. ~ Gibbs: It's about time. Geeze. Tony: How did you find out? ~ McGee: We're trained investigators, my friend. ~ Zoe: And in honor of us coming out, Tony is going to buy everyone drinks. ~ Tony: I am? ~ Zoe: Yeah. You are. C'mon. Get your coat. ~ Tony: Yeah, boss.

Mary: I must be sure I am right to want this man, as my friend, as my lover, as my husband.

Alex: Why hasn't he texted you back yet? ~ Tina: He's on a scarab boat. It goes so fast, it doesn't have reception.

Japanese Soldier: You cannot shirk your duties! ~ Archer: Yes, I can. I do it all the time

Beckett: He is resourceful, but he's not that resourceful. ~ Ryan: He got you to marry him, didn't he?

Jeannie: Is that Ellis Hightower, the electric car guy? Marty: Yes, it is. Jeannie: Shit... What do I have to do to get in here? Marty: Commit a felony. Grow a penis. Wait a minute. I think you already did one of those. Jeannie: Well, I'm gonna work on that penis.

Cookie: The Lucious Lyon I knew would tell those idiots the streets aren't made for everybody. That's why they made sidewalks.

JJ: I have nothing left. You've taken everything. ~ Askari: Oh Jennifer. There is so much more I'm going to take. First, I will take your sleep. Then, your smile. I won't let you feel safe anywhere. So I'll take your job. And finally, I will transform you so that your husband and son won't recognize you anymore. ~ JJ: You can't. I won't let you. ~ Askari: You already are. Think about the risk you took at that freezer. You had no idea that the gas would ignore or not. It was dumb luck that you got out of there alive. Either you will try that again and I'll watch you kill yourself. Or you will quit and I'll watch you wither and fade. Either way, I win. ~ JJ: No. ~ Askari: Yes. ~ JJ: NO.

Teresa Lisbon: Would you be surprised if I said I loved you? ~ Patrick Jane: I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd be moved by that. ~ Teresa Lisbon: I love you. I said it. ~ Patrick Jane: I'm surprised.

Jake: Is it bathsalts? Cause I've seen it and they, they start eat each others faces! We have to stop it... ~ Abby: They soaked tampons in vodka! ~ Phoebe: No. No way. ~ Abby: Yes way. First they started drinking and then they didn't want the calories...Jade's idea! I told you... ~ Jake: Hold on, hold on. So what you're saying is... ~ Abby: Their vaginas are on fire!

Mike: Tinder is like Facebook but it's just straight to smashin.

Ben: Make that broth taste like a hot bastard!

Ezekiel: This is exactly the point in the movie where the guy in the audience says, 'get the hell out!'

Sean: I may be better at basketball, but you're better at everything else.