30 Rock Season 1 Quotes
Your name sounds Jewish. You must be important.Girl
Bianca: Congratulations John, she's much sharper than the other girl you had ... what was her name?
The Head: I see you're lookin' at my watch.
The Head: It's cool, isn't it? That's a Japanese pie watch.
Liz: Oh, okay.
The Head: It tells time with those little pie pieces. Each piece is six minutes, so right now it's... six times four... 5:30? That can't be right.
Liz: My watch has these little hands that go around and point at numbers.
The Head: Hey, that's awesome possum.
Jack: When I was your age, I was putting myself through college in Boston paddling swan boats for the tourists.
Kenneth: Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex worker?
Tracy: I need a hundred thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose both my houses.
Jack: Tracy, I don't understand. You've starred in 14 films; you don't have any money saved?
Tracy: No, I lost all of it.
Jack: Really? Who's your money manager?
Grizz: Worldcom, man. Worldcom.
Jack: Look, Tracy, I can't just give you money. But what I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio.
Tracy: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Jenna: You know, I have to admit, I kinda like that Tracy Jordan is no longer the only movie star on TGS. Maybe I'll finally start getting some respect around here.
Frank: What's up, flabby butt? You look weird today... Hey Pete, you want to see a comic book with pregnant zombie nuns?
Pete: Yes, I do.
Dr. Spaceman: Jack! Tracy! What can I do for you?
Jack: We have a product we want you to give a medical endorsement to.
Dr. Spaceman: I'll do it! What is it?
Jack: It's called the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine. It's a dual-press grill.
Dr. Spaceman: Say no more. If it's giving people meat, then I'm on board. I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps their spine straight.
Jack: We appreciate it, Leo.
Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me and then he's gonna kill you and then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us.Liz
Cerie: Guess what, everyone? I'm engaged!
Frank: Hey, this isn't going to change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it?
Frank: Oh, then, congratulations.
Liz: I'm not firing Josh.
Tracy: You always take his side.
[cut to flashback]
Liz: Tracy, stop tasering him!
[cut to present]
Tracy: See? I need to be respected, Liz Lemon.
Liz: Oh, hi. I'm sorry, I got this number under fertility in the Writers Guild Health Manual?
Dr. Spaceman: I'm also listed under meth addiction and child psychiatry. So, what can I help you with? I should start by saying that I can't personally help you conceive. Something happened to me while scuba diving.