Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 7: "Kiss and Tell" Quotes
Lorelai: He kissed you and you said 'thank you'?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Well that was very polite.
I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.
Lorelai
Okay, I'll uninvite him then. I'll just say it's cancelled on account of I just found out that I'm my mother and I need to go into intensive therapy right now.
Lorelai
Lorelai: Are the lids tight on the paint thinner because you're sounding a little loopy to me.
Mrs. Kim: Loopy, what's loopy?
Lorelai: (laughing) Rory's not kissing anybody.
He kissed you again? What, is he just out of prison or something?
Lorelai
This isn't Amish country. Girls and boys usually date alone.
Rory
Luke: You're not going to kill the bag boy.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: It's double coupon day. You'll bring down the town.
Rory:No, it was stupid! And I don't know what I'm doing here, you're sitting here in the kitchen what kind of chaperone are you?
Lorelai: Me? I'm not trying to be a chaperone. I'm trying to be a girlfriend.
Rory: Well, switch gears, 'cause I'm freaking out here!
Rory: Maybe something's wrong. Maybe something happened to him.
Lorelai: Maybe he's just late Miss German train.
I'm going to be so cool in there, you will mistake me for Shaft.
Lorelai
(Lorelai is sitting at a table watching Rory and Lane out the window.)
Luke: Coffee? (no answer) Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place.
Lorelai: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you.
Luke: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee?
Lorelai: Please.
Luke: You OK?
Lorelai: Yes, I'm fine.
Luke: You don't look fine.
Lorelai: Well thank you.
Luke: I just meant you look concerned.
Lorelai: I'm preoccupied.
Luke: You look concerned.
Lorelai: Well I'm not.
Luke: Fine, you just look it.
Lorelai: Hey, you know some streamers would look so great in here.
Luke: OK, I'm done.
Lorelai: Thank you.
(Later...Luke comes back to the table)
Luke: I'm not gonna say you look concerned.
Lorelai: I'm not gonna talk about how good you'd look dressed like one of the guys from The Crucible.
Luke: Fair enough.
Lorelai: Hi, I'm back. Rory went to wash her face.
Dean: Oh okay.
(silence between them for a little bit and Lorelai pauses the movie)
Lorelai: Dean, I don't know exactly how to say this, but um this is a very different kind of household you walked into tonight.
Dean: Yeah, I know.
Lorelai: See, Rory is my daughter.
Dean: Ahh, here comes the talk.
Lorelai: How 'bout I talk, you listen? Rory is a smart kid and she's never been much for guys, so that fact that she likes you means a lot. I don't believe she'd waste her time with some loser.
Dean: But you're watching me?
Lorelai: Sweetheart, the whole town is watching you. That girl in there is beloved around here. You hurt her, there's not a safe place within one hundred miles for you to hide. This is a very small, weird place you've moved to.
Dean: I've noticed.
Lorelai: So, just know all eyes are on you.
Dean: (waits a second) Anything else?
Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle.
Dean: I don't have a motorcycle.
Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle.
Dean: Fine, she won't go on my motorcycle.
Lorelai: Curfew will be enforced, you will not detract from her schoolwork, and you're gonna start handling those lemons better--
Dean: What?
Lorelai: Dont' interrupt me when I'm speaking. I reserve the right to change, alter, tweak or add to this list of rules at any given time without any written notice, am I clear?
Dean: You're clear.
Lorelai: (nods her head) Good.
Dean: My turn to speak?
Lorelai: (gets a shocked look on her face) Fine, go ahead.
Dean: You can lay on all the rules you want and you can have the whole town spy on me and, and stare at me and chase me through the streets--
Lorelai: Ahh, I like the chasing through the streets idea.
Dean: But, I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere.
Lorelai: Well it's gonna be a short chase then, isn't it?
Dean: I need you not to hate me. If you hate me, then I don't have a shot in hell with Rory.
Lorelai: Rory has her own mind.
Dean: Yeah, but you're her best friend and what you think means everything to her and you know that.
Lorelai: (her face softens) I wanna like you, because Rory likes you.
Dean: But you don't.
Lorelai: I want too. And I usually get what I want.
Dean: Fair enough (Lorelai resumes the movie). She's taking a long time on her face.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, Rory's a perfectionist.
