Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Rory: So did you guys find it okay?
Paris: There's no sign on this street.
Rory: I know, that's why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue.
Paris: I thought you were kidding.
Lorelai: Oh no, we never kid about Monty.
Lorelai: Hey, you didn't wake me up!
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see the clock stops ringing when you throw it against the wall, giving me ample time to fall back asleep. You, however never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the wake up process.
Louise: (about Lorelai) I can't imagine having a baby at 16.
Paris: Well then keep your knees shut.
(trying to find a place to work on their debate for school)
Paris: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it 'angel's kiss' then we're going to have to find somebody else's house to go to.
Madeline: My brother has the measles.
Louise: My mom's having an affair.
Yeah, see those two idiots over there? They're 16...underage and I bet you're not. I also bet those big fancy party cups aren't holding lemonade. You really want to end any further conversations with me so step aside Skippy. Move your asses outside...now! (Out in the hallway) Hey, I am not even going to begin to tell you how completely insane it is to take off with anyone you don't know, or drink things that you don't know what's in them, or act like you have a clue when you don't, but so help me God if you ever pull a stunt like this again, it will not be around my kid! Do you understand me?
Lorelai
Lorelai: (Looking for Madeline and Louise) Hi, I was wondering if college boys live here or friends of college boys and if they had...
Woman: I don't talk to people. People annoy me! (Slams door)
Lorelai: Okay. (Keeps knocking on doors)
Paris: She's going to knock on every door in the building, isn't she?
Rory: Yup.
(Sookie knocks on a door, and a dog barks loudly)
Sookie: Aah! Let's follow your mother!
Paris: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that.
Rory: Paris, you know she would.
Paris: Yeah. Or at least she'd send somebody.
Madeline: Do you think your mom is sorry she got pregnant so young?
Paris: Of course she is.
Rory: Gee, thanks.
Paris: I didn't mean it that way, I just meant--
Rory: I mean, I don't think she'd recommend it, but I think she's happy with the way things turned out.
Lorelai: (walking in) I am?
Rory: Yes, you are.
Lorelai: Okay. Just checking.
Miss Patty: (noticing Lorelai's sweatshirt) Well this looks really familiar.
Lorelai: Oh, that's mine. Er, I saw it first and then I bought it so it's mine now.
Miss Patty: Really? Who brought it in?
Lorelai: I think Luke did and judging by his very hostile reaction he obviously wasn't done wearing it yet.
Miss Patty: Oh my, I wonder if...
Miss Patty: What?
Miss Patty: (to Sookie) I bet this was Rachel's.
Sookie: Oh my God, Rachel's?
Lorelai: Rachel? Who's Rachel?
Sookie: Rachel was Luke's very serious girlfriend. It does look like her.
Lorelai: When did Luke have a girlfriend?
Miss Patty: Oh this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break that man's heart. It was terrible.
Lorelai: How did I not know about this?
Sookie: Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer.
Miss Patty: Archeologist.
Sookie: Really?
Miss Patty: Or a flight attendant.
Lorelai: I can't believe I never even heard about it.
Miss Patty: At least I think so.
Sookie: Well Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it because he could probably kill you with that coffee pot if he wanted to.
Lorelai: Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart.
Madeline: I find your mother completely fascinating.
Rory: Funny. So does she.
Madeline: It's almost more like having a big sister.
Louise: And you like her, don't you?
Rory: She's my best friend.
Madeline: Truly, completely fascinating.
Lorelai: (from the kitchen) Ah! There's a man in my kitchen, somebody call the constable.
Luke: (coming into the living room. Lorelai following) Your mom's a fruit cake.
Lorelai: Fruit cakes by the door please.
Luke: Good bye Rory, I wish you luck - (looks at Lorelai) with everything.
Rory: I appreciate that.
Lorelai: Hey, was Rachel pretty?
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: I'm just curious, was she pretty?
Sookie: She was pretty.
Lorelai: Like, what kind of pretty?
Sookie What do you mean "what kind of pretty"?
Lorelai: I mean, like, was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfeiffer-y pretty or...
Sookie: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
Lorelai: Really.
Sookie Yup.
Lorelai: That's an intense kind of pretty.
Sookie: You're not kidding.
Lorelai: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
Sookie: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?
Lorelai: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because you're delirious.
Sookie: And you're jealous.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: You're jealous of Rachel.
Lorelai: You're accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I'm not even interested in five years ago?
Sookie: Yes.
Lorelai: And you don't think that's crazy?
Sookie: Oh I do think that's crazy.
Lorelai: Right, I'm not jealous.
Sookie: Yeah you are.
Lane: I'm getting a soda. Anybody want anything?
Lorelai: Yes. The night of my 14th birthday back, so I could right the green-hotpants-roller-disco-outfit wrong.
