Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this francais business you're babbling about.

</i> Michel

(Emily on the phone with Lorelai after finding out that Lorelai attended a cat's wake instead of her unknown cousin's funeral)
Lorelai: It's late, I have a big day tomorrow.
Emily: You're going to a raccoon's wedding?

Mr. Medina: I think we should date.
Lorelai: Why?
Mr. Medina: Because I think we both want to.
Lorelai: Well I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn't mean I quit my job and get a guitar and ruin my life to be a Bangle, does it?
Mr. Medina: The Bangles broke up.
Lorelai: Yeah, that's not the point.

Lorelai: Life is a funny funny thing, huh?
Sookie: Yeah I love that Jim Carrey.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Jim Carrey. He's just -- he's just -- funny.
Lorelai: He is funny but I didn't mean funny, funny. I'm being philosophical.
Sookie: Oh. Very serious face. Jean-Paul Sartre.

Lorelai: (to Max) I'm going to be in town tomorrow because I take a class at Hartford State and there's a coffee shop across the street that I sometimes, almost all the time, go to around 4:00 and usually exactly 4:12. I could not stop a person from entering said establishment around that time, nor would I avoid them if I knew them if they did.

Dean: Well, I've been kind of bugging you lately. Uh, I thought -- I don't know -- I thought that maybe you liked me. But it's obvious that you're not interested so I just wanted to say that I get it and I'm not gonna bother you anymore.
(Dean starts to leave, Rory gets up to follow him)
Rory: Wait! I am interested.
Dean: You are?
Rory: Yes. I gotta go.

(After Lorelai is snippy to her)
Rory: Ooooh, she's cranky this morning.
Lorelai: Let's just say the world's got a formidable opponent.

Michel: Fine, I shall be French, but I shall not be happy.
Lorelai: Then you will be yourself. Good choice! (pats him on the back)

Babette: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So's Maury. Too many clams.
Maury: Baaad clams!
Babette: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment...
Lane: You had clams at Al's?
Rory: Al's Pancake World?
Babette: Yeah, well, we had coupons...

It wasn't the clams, Maury... in human years, this cat was 260 years old.

Veterinarian

Michel: I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.
Lorelai: Really!
Michel: That is why I left France.
Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches, and the villagers.

Emily: So you're not going?
Lorelai: Not this time.
Emily: I don't think Claudia's planning to die a second time.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Lorelai: Hi, Mom.
Emily: Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already?
Lorelai: (sounding uncomfortable) No, I just, uh, finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by.
Emily: To see me?
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: Well, isn't that nice. Come in.
Lorelai: Thanks.
(They walk to the living room.)
Lorelai: The place looks great.
Emily: It hasn't changed.
Lorelai: Well, there you go. How are the girls at the bridge club?
Emily: Old.
Lorelai: Well... good.
(Lorelai and Emily sit, opposite to each other)
Emily: You said you were taking a business class?
Lorelai: Yeah, mmhmm, yeah. I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you.
Emily: Well, if you're sure then you must have. (she pauses) Would you like some tea?
Lorelai: I would love some coffee.
Richard: (calling from another room) Emily? I'm home.
Emily: We're in here.
(Richard walks into the living room)
Lorelai: Hi, Dad.
Richard: What is it, Christmas already?

Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.