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Recap

Charlie's life is turned upside down when his brother, Alan, and nephew, Jake, move in with him into his Malibu Beach house.

Show:
Two and a Half Men
Season:
Episode Number:
1

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Well, Alan, there's not much to say. I make a lot of money for doing very little work. I sleep with beautiful women who don't ask about my feelings. I drive a Jag, I live at the beach... and sometimes in the middle of the day, for no reason at all, I like to make myself a big pitcher of margaritas and take a nap out on the sundeck

Charlie

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch