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When Charlie finds out that Chelsea didn't have an orgasm he questions his entire manhood.  He plans a romantic night out and again, fails to give her one.  The next night, desperate to avoid the bedroom, he stays up talking to her during a rousing game of gin rummy and finds out she can't orgasm because she's distracted... by her ex-husband getting married.  Wait, what?  Anyways, Charlie somehow accepts this and suddenly after being able to talk about it she has one.  Yay.

Meanwhile, Alan buys some crappy spray on hair product and tries on the online dating market.  During his first date, his hair ends up running all over his face, sending him to the hospital to have the fiberglass taking out of his eyes.  His second attempt?  He goes on JDate where he can have a kippah cover his bald spot.

Oh and Jake has a date and Berta is banging the water guy.

The episode's title, "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair," comes from the product that Alan uses.

Two and a Half Men
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

You usually grab my ass like you're holding a tree trunk in a hurricane. This time it was more like you were palming a couple cantaloupe at the supermarket.


Berta: I thought you were taking your girlfriend out for dinner.
Jake: I am, but I thought if I eat first I won't pig out in the restaurant and make her sick.
Berta: Good idea, then you'll have the whole rest of the night to make her sick.
Jake: Exactly. Plus, I won't snap at her if she reaches for one of my fries.