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Rating: 4.7 / 5.0 (27 Votes)
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When Berta goes on vacation, she finds a friend, Consuela, to temporarily replace her.  However, when Charlie sees how nice she is (huevos rancheros in the morning, mint on the pillow, swan towels, etc), he wants to keep her when Berta returns..  Rather than firing Berta, he makes Consuela his nighttime maid until he's caught.  Berta makes him choose.  He chooses her.  It's always been her.

Meanwhile, Lyndsey breaks up with her ex-husband and begins dating Alan again.  Alan begins to correctly think that her ex, Chris (Judd Nelson) is stalking him.  At the end of the episode, Charlie lets Chris in the house and points him to Alan's bedroom.  But it's 2.5 Men.  He'll be fine.

Two and a Half Men
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 9 Quotes

Charlie: Did you tell her to roll me over on my stomach in case I vomit?
Berta: It was number one on my list.

I saw your commercial for the shake weight. My brother does basically the same thing in the shower every night. He has absolutely no muscle definition in his arms.