Klaus: I'd like you all to meet my sister, Rebekah. Isn't she pretty? Although, I should warn you, she can be quite mean.
Rebekah: Are you drunk, Nick?
Klaus: As a skunk.
Rebekah: Okay, I'm going to get you home, grab you someone to eat and tuck you into bed, brother. How does that sound?
Klaus: Hey, Rebekah? Do you think I'm shallow? I am, huh? I'm worse than shallow, I'm a kiddie pool.
Klaus: I'm sorry to say that The Vampire Diaries will be taking a little hiatus until January 5th 2012.
Klaus: Don't be so sad, my lovelies. I've compelled The CW to show a great movie, starring an amazing rippah we all know and love. Without further ado, I present Paul Wesley in "Beneath the Blue".
*cheering and applause*
Blair: I haven't been out of the bathroom in days. Louis finally told me he loved me and stood up to his mother. I'm feeling all moody and bloated and emotional and gross. Meanwhile, everyone is at this stupid charity event tonight and they expect me to be there. Not this version of me, but "walking on sunshine" me. And, I'm kinda freaking out.
Chuck: You're pregnant, Blair. So, all your traits and everything you'd usually be feeling is sort of . . . amplified.
Blair: So, you're saying that now, I'm an insecure, neurotic, control-freak . . . on crack?
Chuck: Well, I wasn't going to say it quite like that.
Chuck: You know, you're mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash.
Blair: Is that what I think it is under your coat?
Chuck: *smiles* Oh, yeah! One vanilla ice cream, dill pickle chip and spicy mustard sundae.
Blair: You're so good to me, Chuck. *Chuck leans in for a kiss* I have to pee.
Spotted: Our very own, Queen B. fleeing the prince who broke her heart. And, who better to put it back together again than a beast? Could this be the beginning of a new fairy tale: Beauty and The Bass? Only time will tell.
Klaus: Andrew! Stop sniffing that poor girl. Mark! Just because you mark her, doesn't mean she's yours. Peter! Stop chasing your coat tails. And, Samantha, stop trying to bury your mini sandwiches in the garden. You're ruining Mrs. Lockwoods Tulips.
Klaus: My daddy didn't love me, blah, blah, blah. Now, you're all gonna die.
Klaus: All my hybrids, put your hands in the air, wave 'em around like you just don't care.
Damon: How many of those wolfsbane grenades do we have?
Damon: Not gonna be enough.
Klaus: Don't worry everyone, I'm not going to sing. I'll leave the singing to Vampire Barbie. You know who you are, love. *winks at Caroline*
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