Caroline: Take your pom-poms and printable hair extensions and get off my field, Rebekah.
Rebekah: For the last time, Caroline, you are not my doppelganger.
Serena: Champagne? What are we celebrating?
Nate: I'm dating your cousin, Charlie.
Chuck: And, I just read on Gossip Girl that Blair is pregnant with my child.
Serena: You two can't be serious. Am I on Punk'd?
Serena: A world of no.
Nate: *thinking* Her vest is totally on backwards.
Matt: So, Caroline, Stefan and Damon are vampires. Tyler is a werewolf. Bonnie is a witch. And, Elena is a doppelganger of Katherine, who is also a vampire.
Matt: Now, what the heck is a Kitsune?
Matt: So let me get this straight, Sheriff Forbes. You want me to attack a house full of vampires armed with an apron pocket full of straws?
Liz: The paper on the outside of the straws was made from wood, duh!
Matt: Vampires, witches and werewolves, oh my.
Liz: At least we don't have fairies. Just ghosts.
Matt: Yeah. Thank goodness we don't have fa-. What do you mean just ghosts?
Matt: What does Tyler have that I don't?
Liz: Let's face it, Matt, he is hotter than you.
Katerina: How can Klaus be so arrogant and glib after everything he's done?
Elijah: How brave and stupid of you to call Klaus arrogant and glib.
Katerina: If he wanted me dead, I would be.
Elijah: Yes, you would.
Katerina: But, I'm not.
Elijah: He's waiting on the full moon.
Katerina: Wait, what? That's not how it goes.
Spotted: A not so flattering, graffiti drawing of V. And, what's this? Could it be the word skank written next to it? Careful V, with so many enemies and not so many friends, it might be time to turn tail and run. We hear Little J is looking for a roommate.
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