DelavenNJ
90 posts
Delavennj

I wasn't sure where to post this so just decided to start a new thread.  It may fit somewhere better but I don't have the time to go through all the existing threads to find it.

I have not posted here in a very long time due to all the negativity and mean spiritedness I have seen, but after Monday's episode and hearing about all the backlash I had to vent.  Before I do so I will admit that I am probably quite a bit older than most of you on these boards.  I'm not 15 or 20 but 40.  I have watched the show since the very beginning and have been a Chuck and Blair fan since day one.  I continue to root for them as a couple even after watching "The Princesses and the Frog".

First and foremost this is a fictional show.  It is not reality TV.  If anyone is watching this show hoping to learn a moral lesson they are going to be disappointed.  This isn't "Glee" where every week there is some warm, fuzzy lesson being learned.  This is "Gossip Girl" where for the last 4 seasons we have had drug use, underage drinking, sex with friend's boyfriends, prostitutes, threesomes and affairs with teachers.  There is no morality lessons to be learned here. I personally gained my morals from parents, grandparents, teachers and peers.  Not from fictional TV.

I also don't condone violence. That being said however I don't believe for one second Chuck would've shattered that glass if he had known it was going to harm Blair in any way.  He was desperate and broken and he reacted.  Having been through many relationships I have learned that they are never black and white.  They are messy and sometimes dark.  I have  been known to say or do something in a fit of anger that I regret later.  I'm sure we all have. That's the way life works.  Sometimes it's not perfect.

I also would like to point out that Blair went there knowing full well the kind of mindset Chuck was in.  I doubt she went there thinking he had sobered up and she could have a conversation with him.  I'm not a 100% sure why she did.  The news could have waited just as easily till the morning when he had been possibly in a better frame of mind.  Blair walked into that apartment completely unafraid.

This couple needs a lot of work but I do believe that they can come back from this in time.  I prefer to wait and see how the next two episodes play out before I judge and until then I will continue to support Chuck and Blair and their relationship.

Posted at
917 posts
Eli

I'm so happy to read this. Really. Bravo. Maybe you make someone realize all mean fights around here are nonsense.

Posted at
Chris (undeclared)
2404 posts
Undeclared

There are other threads on this, but I'll give my two cents anyway.

My issue with what happened in the last episode is not the event itself but the way Josh Safran glossed over it like it was normal. Chuck's behavior is anything but normal, and just because he was drinking and he and Blair have a warped relationship doesn't mean that his violence should be accepted. It gives a terrible message to impressionable viewers, particularly girls.

And why try to place the blame on Blair for trying to tell Chuck news of the engagement herself instead of letting him hear it from someone else? It sounds to me like you're saying she had it coming, even if that wasn't your intention in your words.

Final point: Yes, she walked into the apartment unafraid, but she RAN out of the apartment TERRIFIED. That should say everything.

 

Posted at
843 posts
Queenofice

Everyone knows that this is GG and this doesnt provide moral lessons. No one is looking for a moral lesson. I think the backlash has to do with the fact Safran totally overlooked the fact that Chuck did  abuse Blair. And the possibility that the show would show that this act was just an act of passion or love. What most people are worried about is that the target audience of GG are teenage girls and some of these teenagers, in their love of Chair, are viewing this abuse as sexy or hot. They are getting a glorified and romanticised view of something as awful as abuse. That is where the issue is.

Relationships are messy and dark but a relationship which pulls you down to being abused and thinking you deserve it shouldnt be promoted as epic should it? Chuck was drunk- he was in a bad state of mind - he didnt mean do it- These are the classic answers of a abuser- I am not saying hang Chuck for this. I am saying show this in its proper light- that Chuck made a huge mistake and he should be begging for forgiveness-He should given help of rehab. What Safran made this to be is like- Hey its nothing. Chuck needs no redemption. They will end together. What message does this send?

 

Finally its so typical of it to be always Blair's fault. It was her fault that she went up there and its her fault that she came to see him. Do you know that this is another characteristic of abuse? Making the victim believe she is responsible for the abuse.

Posted at

...

 

If I drive under influence and hit a girl crossing the street at 3 AM, it would totally be the girl's fault. The bimbo deserves to die. How could she cross the street at that time knowing full well there must be thousands of drunk driver on the street..

 

Sorry, but I'm kinda fed up with your logic

Posted at

Sorry, but I'm kinda fed up with your logic

Same here.

I agree with Queenaofice & i don't know you & undeclared.

Posted at
SBW89
132 posts
Sbw89

I also don't condone violence. That being said however I don't believe for one second Chuck would've shattered that glass if he had known it was going to harm Blair in any way.  He was desperate and broken and he reacted.  Having been through many relationships I have learned that they are never black and white.  They are messy and sometimes dark.  I have  been known to say or do something in a fit of anger that I regret later.  I'm sure we all have. That's the way life works.  Sometimes it's not perfect.

At first I was angry, sad and terrified by the darkness Chuck was dragged into....and started shipping Blouis somehow (yeah I know, incredible!!! ) but then I took some time to think it over and I came to your same conclusion!!! Real love is no fairy tale and by that I don't intend to justify chyck's violent behaviour... Sometimes we all  do things we completely regret....
Posted at
Independence?
29 posts
Avatar

@delaven: I posted this on another thread, but I think it's worth posting. Although I'm not 40 and don't have the decades of experience that life has been able to afford you. I believe I'm old enough and experienced enough to know that there is a HUGE difference between a single act done in the heat of the moment, and a reckless act that builds upon a history of previously quasi-abusive behavior (let's for a minute step out of the assumption that all abuse has to be physical).  If you are only viewing this one incident as a signification of abuse then you aren't looking at this in the right context. In my experience with my own uncle, he would at first yell at me, then push me or slam things in an attempt to get his point across (my family couldn't afford rent so we moved in with him and my aunt). It escalated to the point where I was scared of him. He would then go to shaking me. He had a problem with drinking as well. Eventually it got to the point where he would physically abuse me. He would make me and my cousins play soccer and if we "kicked the ball wrong" he would hit us. It all started by him being aggresive and showing behavior. Do you see what I'm getting at? i understand relationships are black and white. I understand human nature is fallable. But if you keep on attempting to grab a piece of cheese off an electrically shocked plate once, are you going to keep on going back because you believe one day the plate won't give you a shock? No, you are going to look back on your realm of experience and judge whether or not this behavior is a continuation of previous decisions, or if it was something done in the heat of the moment. 

I appreciate your view, but I vehemently disagree with you. 

I feel that you're looking at this scene as being proof of an isolated incident. It's not. You being a viewer from as early as season one should know this. Can Chuck be redeemed? I think he can be rehabilitated and forgiven. But to look at redemption as being contained in the form of getting back with Blair is wrong. A relationship that volatile shouldn't be continued regardless of how much you want them to work out. 

I also have to point out that, you still attempted to justify the actions even though you claim they weren't really that big of a deal. Blair knew what she was in for? That sounds rather twisted. 

You're also completely downplaying the role of media and its impact on cultural and social behavior. Obviously this show isn't meant to provide moral direction. However, once something takes a form of precedence in a person's life, even inadvertently, it will have an effect on behavior. Why do you think kids take up fashion trends, song trends, and vernacular trends when they watch these shows? 

I understand that you were raised on the morals of your parents and grandparents (as was I), but I think using the excuse that the show isn't meant to be something is completely ignoring the susceptibility of the public. I currently study this phenomena in school and would be willing to expand and even give data if necessary. :) 

 

Posted at
917 posts
Eli

My issue with what happened in the last episode is not the event itself but the way Josh Safran glossed over it like it was normal. Chuck's behavior is anything but normal, and just because he was drinking and he and Blair have a warped relationship doesn't mean that his violence should be accepted. It gives a terrible message to impressionable viewers, particularly girls.

My thoughts about Safran's comment is that he minimizes the fact, because we all have to asume it's a TV show. Far from being realistic, in my opinion. I'm sure he doesn't support violence or discrimination in real life, but all of this is taken out of context, I think you (not meaning to accuse anybody) are overthinking too much... What I mean is, normal viewers I guess will understand Chuck is having a breakdown and his world is falling apart, as a character. I don't think they're thinking "hmm that is normal", probably they haven't even read Safran's words.

Posted at
791 posts
Dairshipper

Yep, GG is not a show to be taken seriously.  But when impressionable young girls watch the show, rooting for a couple whose relationship has turned out to be abusive, viewing that couple as a normal, healthy, passionate, and "EPIC" relationship, its something that should be taken sitting down.  

Yes we see them having sex, threesomes, orgies, underage drinking, and doing drugs, but these things are the context within which the show revolves.  The viewer is meant to take these things witha grain of salt.  Nonetheless, these things fall under the black and white category of good or bad.  

On the other hand, the Chuck and Blair abusive relationship is a complete subtext.  It isn't intended by the writers, and even so, its not even seen as abusive (as Safran's interview pointed out).  Safran's interview is a whole different argument entirely, and the others have proven my point without a doubt on this matter.

I've got two words for you: VICTIM BLAMING.  Look it up, google is your friend.

Posted at

Post a Reply

You are posting as a guest. To post as a user, please Sign In or Register.

Guest posting is disabled in this forum. If you want to post, please Sign In or Register.

Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair
x Close Ad