I have a right not to trust this; It is not just me! - Meredith (Fan Fiction)
I've been writing some fan fiction scenes
for 04.11 and 04.12 so far since there are
no official new episodes.
Here are some scenes so far
Meredith feels bad about not reacting differently to the house plans and goes over to Derek's trailer to wait for him. She and the chief are sitting on the deck at the trailer talking. Derek and Rose drive up after their dinner.
Meredith stares at them, shocked. Derek looks at her, gets right out of the car and heads for Meredith.
Derek (obviously upset): We got talking about the land here and and I was going to show her.
Meredith just stares at him then walks past towards her car. Derek, the chief and Rose all watching her.
Meredith then turns back to Derek.
Meredith: You know its not just me. You are not this perfect man that I am too broken to let love me. I was right not to trust this. I have every right not to trust you.
At Meredith's after the scene at the trailer (it was late then..now even later but everyone is still up).
Everyone is sitting in the living room. George, Izzie, Alex, Christina, Lexie (interestingly) and Meredith
Izzie: Then what..he just stood there looking at you!
Christina: So you are done with him now, done with the breakup sex, done done.
Meredith: Absolutely. Done done done. You know he told me I was the love of his life.
Alex: Come on if you don't know what you want why do you expect him to know.
George doesn't say anything just looks sad and stricken.
Even later, Meredith's house is quiet. Several shots of people sleeping:
Meredith and Christina sleeping in Meredith's bed and (surprise) Lexie in a chair in Meredith's room.
Alex and (surprise) Ava
Izzie sleeping alone.
George is awake in the living room, just sitting looking out the window, thinking.
George sees Derek standing outside. He gets up and goes to the front door and opens it.
George: What are you doing? If you think you are going to go talk to Meredith, you're crazy. Cause 1) everyone's sleeping..finally ... and 2), she is guarded tighter than fort knox.
Derek: I won't come in. I just couldn't not be here. (exhales like I really blew it and I don't know what to do)
George sits down on the porch and Derek sits down next to him.
George: She was really trying. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Derek sits down next to George and just puts his head in his hands.
George: I suppose I can't hate you too much. I did it too.
Derek looks up at him like â€œwhat?â€
George: Once I told her I would never hurt her, always love her and she actually even let me try. But she was in pain. She couldn't hide it and I couldnâ€™t fix it. And so what did I do? I cut her off and I made it her fault. You know just about everyone in her life has left her and made it her fault. I am amazed she keeps trying.
George gets up and goes inside.
Derek looks up at the closed door of the house and knows he can't go in.
--------------Scene 4 ------------
Lexie is in the kitchen of Meredithâ€™s house, looking sleepy and drinking some coffee.
Ava comes in, all dressed like she is ready to leave early.
Ava: So this is a little awkward. Youâ€™re the one I was sitting next to in the gallery. Alex told me you are, uh, sleeping together. I didnâ€™t know that when I told you I was seeing him.
Lexie: Yeah awkward. Well..he told me before we ever started anything that he was in love with someone else. I guess thatâ€™s you.
Ava: He said he was in love with me?
Lexie: Well I think he actually said he was strung out on someone else.
Ava: Ahh. â€¦ ok
Lexie: At least hes honest. I guess we have to give him that.
Ava: Yeah heâ€™s honest. (Obvious unsaid reference to Alexâ€™s comment that she is not being honest. She is playing dress up.)
Meredith comes in.
Meredith: I am completely ok, completely fine. I am going to get some coffee and I am going to go to work. Completely fine. (She is of course not completely fine â€“ and also totally oblivious to the Lexie/Ava drama playing out.)
Ava: I got to go.
Meredith: Wait a minute. Wasnâ€™t that Jane Doe? What is Jane Doe doing in my house?
Lexie: Jane Doe? Its some woman Alex is seeing.
Meredith just stares at Lexie incredulously as she starts to figure out the Lexie/Alex/Ava thing.
Morning at the hospital.
Mark and Derek talking. Derek obviously just told him what happened with Meredith.
Derek: She didn't want to look at my house plans so I went out
with Rose. Right after she asked me not to see other people.
That was so hard for her....I'm not a cruel person - am I?
Mark: You know what your problem is? I've been bailing you
out from being the bad guy your whole life. You don't want
to date some girl any more - so I flirt with them and make it
their fault and mine.
Derek: I donâ€™t not want to date Meredith.
Mark: Look. You are my best friend and you hate to be the bad guy. Your
whole life all anyone needed to do to get you to do something
is tell you that a "good " man would do it. I think its
your sisters telling you not to be the guy who breaks people's
For once my friend, don't be the good guy. Be with Meredith
because you want to be or don't be with her at all. Be with Rose if you want.
Derek: I want to be with Meredith. I want to be with her but what if she never lets me?
Mark: Look if you want to be with her then donâ€™t take no for an answer. Why are you two making this so complicated? (Nice bit of honesty about somewhat unnatural complexity of their relationship) She obviously wants to be with you. I tried to lure her away lots of times.
Derek (with temper): What? (A bit pissed that Mark actually tried to lure Meredith away)
Mark: Oh come onâ€¦it didnâ€™t work. Doesnâ€™t it make you feel even a little better that it didnâ€™t work?
Derek shaking his head, gets up and heads to leave the room.
Mark: Its for your own good you know.
Derek just looks back and him like â€œ I canâ€™t believe you just said thatâ€.
Looking back, it's easy to see when a mistake has been made... to regret a choice that seemed like a decent idea at the time, but if we used our best judgment and listened to our hearts, we are more likely to see that we chose wisely and avoided the deepest most pain regret of them all - the regret from letting something amazing pass you by.
Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."