Liz: No Mason, I do not want to sleep with you.
Mason: Why not? Damon won't mind.
Liz: Don't make me shoot you!
Elena: "Stefan, please don't leave me."
Stefan (thinking): "That Isobel sure is hot."
Caroline: "What's wrong Elena?"
Elena: "I think I'm pregnant."
Caroline: "What? I thought vampires can't procreate?"
Elena: "They can't. Stefan isn't the father. Mr. Saltzman is!"
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