It's better to have loved and lost, said some idiot who I hope is also dead now. Love is like being shot out of a cannon -- thrilling, expect for that very last part when you hit the ground and your body breaks into tiny pieces. That part ruins the trip.

Harry [to himself]

Mike: Is he still there? Oh, no. Don't look. Feel it with your third eye.
Liv: I'm sorry. I already looked with my first two eyes. He's there.

Asta: I'd rather be a martyr than a loose cannon!
D'Arcy: That is exactly what a martyr would say!
Asta: Loose cannon!
D'Arcy: Martyr!

  • Permalink: Martyr!
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Heather: Both of 'em sound like my sister's girlchild.
Joseph: You have a niece called Knees?
Heather: Yeah, she's my niece.
Joseph: How are we losing to you people?

You know, for the first time in my life, I feel like I have what it takes to be a mother.

D'Arcy

Liv: Is the woman Lena Torres?
Mike: Let's call her Mina Flores.

Mike: Taxpayers shouldn't have a say in how their taxes dollars are spent. That's called anarchy!
Ben: Well, some people call it democracy.

Ben: I asked to see you in my office.
Mike: No, you said you'd LIKE to see me in your office, and I don't blame you. Hell, I'm a statue of masculinity. If I was in your office, you'd probably walk in every morning and say, 'Damn, now that's what I want to be.'
Ben: If you were a statue in my office, I'd hang my jacket on you.
Mike: And I'd want you to 'cause I'd be made out of metal, and I'd be cold. See? Even as a statue, man, I still get what I want.

Asta: I am so tired of playing parent to this alien child. It's enough to do it at home.
D'Arcy: Yeah.
Asta: What?
D'Arcy: Nothing. You're just not really doing it at home.
Asta: I told you. Jay and I are in a good place. I don't want to ruin that.
D'Arcy: Right. You're afraid to piss off the teenager who lives with us and eats my yogurt, so now I have no yogurt.

Life is about balance, so you can have a girlfriend and work on the mission.

Asta

D'Arcy: We're not having fun. We are choosing to stay single until we finish our mission.
Asta: Is that why we're single?
D'Arcy: God, I hope so.

Harry: Asta! I am in love, and it makes me want to dance!
Asta: Oh my God, but it didn't teach you how!

Resident Alien Season 3 Quotes

General: Why do you have a picture of a boy's chest?
Harry: Oh, that's my chest. I have been manscaping.

Working in a group like a human is not efficient. Yesterday, I spent half the day searching my email for data sequencing numbers, but all I found were fantasy football requests. If I'm going to defeat Joseph, I need to work alone like a real alien. So, I handled it exactly like a human worker would. I texted Jeff and asked him to tell the General I was sick.

Harry [to himself]