The Bachelor Season 19 Contestants

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Meet the bachelorettes of The Bachelor Season 19! One lucky lady will win Chris Soules' heart and a spot by his side on the farm! The rest? Well, they'll provide plenty of crazy for us along the way. 

1. Britt - The Bachelor Season 19

Britt is a 27 year old waitress who loves books. David Foster Wallace and Dave Eggers are among her favorite authors for being eccentric wordsmiths.

2. Alissa - The Bachelor Season 19

Alissa is a flight attendant whose biggest dating fear is running into recent exes. Just how many exes does she have that she's worried about running into them all the time?

3. Amanda - The Bachelor Season 19

Amanda is a ballet instructor with dreams of opening her own studio. With a population of 427, we imagine Amanda's Arlington, Iowa studio to be like Miss Patti's in Stars Hollow.

4. Amber - The Bachelor Season 19

Amber is a bartender who would love to spend a day as a zookeeper. Isn't a busy bar kind of like a zoo already? Achievement UNLOCKED, Amber!

5. Ashley I. - The Bachelor Season 19

Just call Ashley I. "Sugar Mama!" She tried to be a cougar (at the ripe age of 26) and dated a younger man, but he was immature and expected her to pay for everything.

6. Ashley S. - The Bachelor Season 19

Ashley S. is a hairstylist. When asked which literary character she would most like to be, she responded "Thumbelina." Okay then.

7. Becca - The Bachelor Season 19

Becca is a chiropractic assistant who has seen Dumb and Dumber one too many times. Her biggest dating fear is clogging up a toilet.

8. Bo - The Bachelor Season 19

Bo, a plus-sized model, is best known for being a world-class surfer! Too bad she can't hang ten on the Soules soybean fields in Iowa...

9. Brittany - The Bachelor Season 19

Brittany is a WWE Diva in training! She's ready to pin Chris Soules, y'all! Her most embarrassing moments are: peeing while still wearing a live mic and losing her shorts during her first match.

10. Carly - The Bachelor Season 19

Carly is a cruise ship singer and "professional" pirate watcher. During a cruise through the Red Sea, she had the midnight to 4 a.m. pirate-watching shift.

11. Jade - The Bachelor Season 19

Jade is a cosmetics developer whose greatest accomplishment to date is launching her own business. But if she won the lottery she would...launch her own business. Ummm....

12. Jillian - The Bachelor Season 19

Jillian is a news producer who likes mowing the lawn. She probably thinks Chris Soules' tractor is sexy.

13. Jordan - The Bachelor Season 19

Jordan once jumped off a boat bar naked. She likes to do shots and says the way to a man's heart is by giving him sexy lapdances. She obviously failed anatomy if she thinks that's where the heart is.

14. Juelia - The Bachelor Season 19

Juelia is an esthetician whose favorite movies are Dumb and Dumber, Titanic, and Bridesmaids. One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong.

15. Kaitlyn - The Bachelor Season 19

Kaitlyn is a Canadian dance instructor who wants to buy an island and make it a pirate land. She'll call it "Yarrrrland." A thousand acre farm in Iowa is KIND OF like an island.

16. Kara - The Bachelor Season 19

Kara is a high school soccer coach who wants to psychoanalyze her future spouse so she'll better understand what it's like to be him.

17. Kesley - The Bachelor Season 19

Kelsey is a guidance counselor who, like Kara, wants to get inside her future spouse's brain so that when she asks "how was your day" she'll better understand his answer.

18. Kimberley - The Bachelor Season 19

Kimberley is a yoga instructor. There's one every season, right? Namaste.

19. Mackenzie - The Bachelor Season 19

Mackenzie, 21, has barely graduated high school. Chris Soules probably has boots as old as her. (Oh, and she's a dental assistant.)

20. Megan - The Bachelor Season 19

Megan is a makeup artist from Nashville who once got so drunk on a New Years Eve date she had to throw up in her own purse.

21. Michelle - The Bachelor Season 19

Michelle is a wedding cake decorator who has spent WAY too much time watching The Bachelor. Her dream date is a helicopter ride over Waikoloa, sitting atop an (inactive) volcano, and watching the sunset.

22. Nicole - The Bachelor Season 19

Nicole is a real estate agent who loves having a job that allows her to travel. (AKA, take several months off in hopes of settling in Iowa.)

23. Nikki - The Bachelor Season 19

Nikki is a former NFL cheerleader, because no season is complete without either a former NFL cheerleader or an NBA dancer. She's also currently (maybe?) a Wilhelmina model.

24. Reegan - The Bachelor Season 19

Reegan is a cadaver tissue saleswoman. Dear Chris Soules, if she hands you a bottle of lotion at your introduction, DO NOT GIVE HER A ROSE.

25. Samantha - The Bachelor Season 19

Samantha is a fashion designer and lover of small accessory dogs. She can't live without her 3.5 pound teacup Maltese.

26. Tandra - The Bachelor Season 19

Tandra is an executive assistant who, from the bios, seems the most grounded of The Bachelor Season 19 contestants. She loves music, especially French rock.

27. Tara - The Bachelor Season 19

Tara is a sport fishing enthusiast and identical twin. She once used her sister's ID and passport to leave the country. HOW DO WE KNOW IT'S REALLY YOU, TARA?

28. Tracey - The Bachelor Season 19

Tracey is a fourth grade teacher, also seems grounded and down to Earth. She's looking for a witty, intelligent, considerate man. Look no further, Tracey!

29. Trina - The Bachelor Season 19

Trina is a special education teacher who holds two Masters degrees, each earned with a 4.0. But she still can't bring herself to say the word "diarrhea" preferring instead to use the phrase "di di."

30. Whitney - The Bachelor Season 19

Whitney is a ferility nurse who prefers doing the pursuing instead of being pursued. We're not totally sure she understands how The Bachelor works.

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The Bachelor Quotes

I would definitely prefer not to be the first Bachelor rejected at the end of all of this.

Nick

This is not another season of The Bachelorette. Or Paradise. This is actually The Bachelor. I know, I’m as surprised as you are.

Nick