It wouldn't be The Bachelor without thoughts from ESPN's Sports Gal.

Well, sure it would, but it wouldn't be quite as funny. Here's what she had to say the hunky Matt Grant and about Monday's premiere...

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The Bachelor started Monday night, and it was a competitive first show because girls were doing everything to impress the bachelor.

It was like a beauty contest for crazy people (like Stacey).

They always have one black contestant who makes it two rounds before she gets voted off. [Bill Simmons, aka ESPN's The Sports Guy] always compares her to Gonzaga because she's an underdog who never makes the Final Four.

Anyhoo, this year's bachelor is A HOT GUY FROM BRITAIN [Matt Grant] and seems to really like this year's black contestant.

Maybe she will make the Final Four of The Bachelor before Gonzaga does!

The other highlight from last night other than THE BACHELOR BEING REALLY HOT (or Shayne Lamas) was a woman with fake lips who got tanked, fondled the bachelor's knee and gave him her panties before passing out face-first on a bed.

I love this show. Did I mention that THE BACHELOR IS SMOKING HOT????

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.