Samantha Who? Quotes from Season One

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Samantha Who? has proven one thing: amnesia is hilarious!

We've listed a sample below, but browse through our complete collection of Samantha Who? quotes right now and vote on your favorites...

Samantha: Thank you for helping me find this book on tanks.
Todd: No, tank you.

Samantha: (end voiceover) You know that thing about touching the plate after the waiter tells you it's hot? The most exciting time is that moment right before you touch it. After that, you're just an idiot sitting in a restaurant with a burnt finger. The truth is, as one who's had my share of meals, it's a lot more fun when you're not in pain.
Samantha Newly Photo

Andrea: God! That's my boss! There must be some kind of line he's crossing here, right?
Samantha: It's not happening if you don't look at it.
Andrea: Like poverty.

Samantha: I was reading an article the other day, by which I mean I was watching tv, and it said that happiness comes from realizing which things in life you just can't control and then controlling them, even if it kills you. That might not have been the lesson. I was flipping around.

Samantha: OK class, a quick review. Muscle memory. Very helpful in remembering things you forgot. But here's the thing -- the heart is also a muscle. Fortunately, the heart remembers most strongly the people who will always love you, no matter what.

Sam: Mom, I am not going to spend my Sunday night making some mother feel bad about her child.
Regina: Why not? it every other day.

Sam: I can't believe you, Andrea. How could you not tell about this? I mean, you call me at midnight to tell me to get my eyebrows waxed, but my restraining order just, like, slips your mind?!

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Samantha Who? Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.