The Office Quotes: "Frame Toby"

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You knew Michael Scott wouldn't be pleased when Toby returned from Costa Rica ... even if it took him an entire week to notice his nemesis was back.

Naturally, his reaction was to try to be friends with Toby this time. But when that didn't work after five seconds, Michael and Dwight decided to frame Toby for something so that he could be fired for cause - and not just be-cause Michael dislikes him intensely.

Elsewhere, Jim bought Pam a house. His parents' house.

The Office takes a week off this week (returning Dec. 4), but last Thursday's episode was another classic, and we've got all the best lines in our directory of The Office quotes. Search by episode (every episode, from the pilot to the present), or by character.

Michael Scott Picture
Toby Flenderson Picture

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael