How brave are you, Jack?

Jack: Is she even his type?
Ashley: She's a woman.

Conrad: You are deceptively brilliant.
Ashley: I learned from the best.
Conrad: You meant Victoria, didn't you?
Ashley: Yeah.

Conrad: Our very own 'Joe the Plumber,' if you will.
Jack: You want me to convince the poor guy to vote for the rich guy?
Ashley: In the most reductive terms, yes.

Ashley: Victoria, do you mind? We're actually in the middle of things.
Victoria: And fully clothed! How refreshing!

Victoria: Don't you know that politicians tend to keep their concubines in the closet?
Ashley: Spoken like a woman that no one's sleeping with.

Please don't say you're sorry. You so clearly are not.

I'm going to go to the loo and drown myself in it.

All I've got to show for my summer with the Graysons is a gun wielding, psychotic boyfriend who made out with you.

You kiss a billionaire once you make 200 grand. I've been kissing Victoria's ass all summer and I'm lucky she lets me call her by her first name.

I have to run errands for little Mary suicide.

Daniel: Oh the walk of shame.
Ashley: More like a bloody knuckle crawl.

Revenge Quotes

Two wrongs can never make a right because two wrongs can never equal each other.

Emily

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

Confucius