Popular Barney Stinson Quotes
Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob... and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neurosis, inebriation style
Barney: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
Lily: Barney, none of us really liked her.
Barney: What?!
Lily: Sorry.
Barney: Oh, very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose to turn my front on her
Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs
Lily: So where are you from, Natalya?
Barney: She...who knows. The former Soviet republic of Drunk-Off-Her-Ass-Istan?
Oh sure laugh, laugh for Barney Stinson. Laugh for the sad clown trapped on his whirling carousel of suits and cigars and bimbos and booze. Round and round it goes, and where's it all heading? Nowhere
Barney: People often ask me "Barney how is that you're so psyched so much of the time"?
Lily: By who? Who asks you that? edit »
I mean seriously, Claudia and Stuart? I mean I have hooked up with the odd lass who is beneath my level of attractiveness... but... you know I was drunk. There is no way Claudia has been drunk for three years
Don't beat yourself up. He'll be fine. I mean, the guy's like a billionaire. He can put his platinum card on a fishing line and win ten chicks hotter than you
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then, well feed them to you like grapes!
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each!
Barney: If that dude can bag a 9, I got to be able to bag a 16.
Ted: What's a 16?
Barney: Those two 8's right over there
Ted: Yes, on Saturday, after a little wine and a little dancing...
Barney: Alright, they better be making a new gender, because I'm revoking your dude license.
Ted: Yeah, how was that manicure yesterday?
Barney: Invigorating, thanks
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians
