Frasier
Thursdays on Paramount+David Crane Quotes
Frasier: You know he’s taking advantage of you, don’t you?
David: Oh, I know.
Frasier: And you don’t mind that?
David: Are you kidding? I don’t know if you know this about me, but growing up, I was a little coddled. I have yet to eat an intact grape. But Dr. Cornwall is the first adult to trust me with any real responsibility.
Frasier: You don’t resent him in spite of all you’re doing?
David: No, no. The work may seem menial, but it feels good to be valued.
Freddy: I know you’re taking this kinda hard, but it’s really not the end of the world.
David: Says the guy with brains and brawn who can eat all the tree nuts he wants.
I have never gotten a B in my life. What’s next? A face tattoo that reads Do Crime?
Freddy: Buddy, it’s just a B.
David: To anyone else, it’s just a B. But I’m a Crane. You know what it’s like.
Freddy: Oh yeah. The Crane Curse. Nothing’s ever good enough. There’s always a shiner object just out of reach.
David: Exactly. You always have to get the highest grade. Win every award.
Freddy: Spend every summer at Trigonometry Camp.
David: While all your friends are taking it easy at Algebra Camp. Why is our family like this?
Freddy: I don’t know. I mean, growing up, I felt like I had to constantly prove I deserved to be in this family.
David: How did you deal with the expectations?
Freddy: I guess I could until I couldn’t. Then, one lecture, I just walked out and never walked back in.
David: Because of the pressure?
Freddy: Because I wasn’t happy.
Freddy: David, tonight I'm going to teach you how to strike up a conversation with a real, live human woman. That's right. I am going to give you the gift of game.
Eve: Loser. Okay, you know what? I'm going to stay and help.
David: Really? How many girls have you kissed?
Eve: More than you, babe.
Freddy: No! Oh my God. You're a teenager. She's almost 30. Her boyfriend died barely a year ago. She has a baby you're not even allowed to hold.
David: A baby I'm afraid to hold.
They booby-trapped you with your own charisma. How dare they debase you by forcing you to do the very thing you did by choice for 15 years.
David: Look around, Uncle. You are the Rosie-cheeked debutante at this ball of the brains. I am the strapping young cadet.
Frasier: Go sit down, David.
Frasier: You know, you remind me of your mother. Perpetually optimistic. Always seeing the…Do you have to put in eye drops right as we’re having a nice moment?
David: You can’t tell me it’s not Sahara dry in here.
Frasier: Now you remind me of your father.
