It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXDennis Reynolds Quotes
Kim, hon, I'm detecting a little vibe from you - so why don't you come sit here.
I feel like he's the one who rescued me.
Girl: You know, you're weird.
Dennis: You have no idea.
Dennis: How many sleeping pills did you give that kid?
Frank: I don't know? 7? 12?
During the turbulence, she giggled - leads me to believe she's a thrill seeker.
Dennis: How many beers can we order at once?
Flight Attendant: I'm not sure, no one's ever asked that.
Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished collies. My client, Frank here, isn't really on trial today, ya know. Common sense is on trial. And while common sense would tell you that eating a bowl of cereal while operating a car it's reckless, it's moronic, one might even call it, 'donkey-brained'.
Dennis: Donkey-brained?
Charlie: It means to have the brains of a donkey or a donkey-type creature.
Dennis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know what it means, guy.
Mac: I'm gonna smash this (vase of flowers) over their goddam heads!
Dennis: Yes, Mac! Yes! I'm gonna blast them with this fire extinguisher!
Charlie: Okay, I'll toss hot soup in their faces.
Frank: I'm gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster.
He doesn't hide under a toupee. He faces his challenges instead of retreating to the sewers nude to forage for rings and coins. Or to the toilets. To a life filled with rats. He's the kind of man who gives me the courage to do an amazing double jack-knife twist, which I did. Most of you people wouldn't even attempt that, I did it. And to go down on Chrissy Orlando on a trampoline that very same night, which I also did. And I licked her asshole a little bit. It was pretty good. It was alright. It wasn't great.
You remember that night at Dooley's pool party on that fine Summer eve? When I did that double jack-knife twist and blew everyone's tits off? You remember that? And then I went down on Chrissy Orlando on the trampoline later that night?
Mac: I'm not going to sit down until you say something nice to me. For once in your life.
Dennis: Your hair is small.
Wait! There's more. There's an old short fat man here. He sat with his young sleeping partner. Bring them a glass of the house red from us.
