Jack: So our rods an arrow?
Jo: At some point we're going to stop calling it a rod right?
Jack: Oh, where's the fun in that?

Warren: That is! I think we have what we need.
Jack: That's it?
Warren: What, were you expecting the Spanish Inquisition?
Jack: Uh, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Allison: It only records the memories you're willing to share, so think about those.
Jack: See I have seen this before and then the Stay-puft Marshmallow man.. Grrrr, comes Arrrgh down the street, ah... no.

Allison: Mr. Hughes, are you ok?
Hughes: My ears are ringing!
Jack: Exploding robots will do that.

Allison: Now that we are involved I had to file an IA248 with the DOD
Jack: IA??
Allison: It's the form required for our intimate alliance.
Jack: There can't be a form for that!

Fargo: Sheriff, you ok?
Jack: I am in deep ship.

Allison: Come on Jack, you have to trust me.
Jack: I know [smiles]

Larry: You have to go down to level Q
Jack: I've never even heard of level Q
Larry: Yeah, it's not a very popular level.

Dr Fong: You realize that I am actualizing a real time interplanetary communications network.
Jack: That's a lot of big words Doctor Fong, but you're playing it loose and easy with safety.

Senator Wen: I would appreciate your help with extra security.
Jack: I would love to, but I am the town sheriff, I have sheriffy things to do.
Senator Wen: That's politician speak for "you have to" the paperwork is already done.

Jack: Should I sit?
Senator Wen: Neah, just stand there and look pretty.

Jack: What have you done with my girlfriend, I've seen the brain scans
Allison (Beverly): I knew I shouldn't kiss you, it was just too tempting
Jack: Oh *was it*?!

Eureka Quotes

Carter: You sure this is not some sort of science-geek-ren-faire thing?
Allison: Well, either we are both having the same delusion or we are really stuck in 1947.

Carter: What does a nanny have that I don't?
Allison: A PhD in early childhood development with an emphasis on organic nutrition.